“I tell you the story because I was raised the Chinese way. I was taught to desire nothing, to swallow other people’s misery, and to eat my own bitterness. And even though I taught my daughter the opposite, still she came out the same way. Maybe it is because she was born to me and she was born a girl, and I was born to my mother and I was born a girl, all of us like stairs, one step after another, going up, going down, but always going the same way.”
- An Mei, Joy Luck Club
Sometimes when I get smug and think that I have gone through some quantum leap in consciousness I get knocked back down again and am humbled by how childish I can act. Take Thanksgiving morning for instance. I was in the throws of getting ready to head out the door to spend the holidays at the beach when I realized that my shiny 3″ silver faux snakeskin peep-toe pumps were missing. This could only mean one of two things – either there is a shoe bandit roaming our neighborhood bypassing the Apple and Sony electronics for highly impractical (unless you want to get laid) shoes or Paige took them without asking. Suffice to say, it wasn’t a shoe bandit.
There are a lot of ways that I could psychoanalyze what ensued next but the simplest is to say that I snapped. I am not proud about it, but it’s the truth. After I realized Paige had snuck them out of the house so she could wear them to a party, I spewed some diatribe at her that went something like, “can’t I have ONE thing that’s just mine?” and “is nothing sacred?!?”and “you’ve already sucked the youth out of me, now you want my shoes???” Perhaps I am exaggerating a bit, but you get the point. I had a nuclear meltdown and everything within 3 miles was obliterated. In my own defense, Paige’s laissez-faire attitude, “So what?” and “I didn’t think you would care” and “you borrowed my mascara so I thought it would be okay” only served to fan the flames.
We can now laugh that I had a meltdown over a pair of shoes that cost less than $100, but those shoes mean something to me. They are the opposite of my Dansko clogs – instead they represent something completely impractical. I would even say that their sole purpose is to make me feel happy and sexy. Like a reminder to myself to have more fun and to not to take life so seriously and to feed the non-mommy parts of my soul. For years I loved my daughter more than anything, including me. This is definitely not what I want to be teaching her but I know that in some ways I have been … just like my step-mothers and Aunties did and as I am sure my mother did too. How many times have we put ourselves last? When will we get to the point where we realize when we do this in front of our daughters, we are perpetuating this mindset?
It’s taken 34 years of personal development to bypass the ingrained tendencies of growing up as an Asian woman or even more accurately, an Asian and a Woman. And even though having a meltdown about a pair of shoes is nothing to be proud about, I am proud of the fact that I am no longer pouring all my hopes and dreams into Paige and that I am giving relevance and importance to my own hopes and dreams.
Anthony Bourdain takes a complimentary bite and then keeps eating it cause he likey.
Today’s bacon tasty comes from Seattle’s neighboring metropolis – Portland, Oregon … and perhaps more famously known as the birthplace of “Voodoo Doughnuts.” Voodoo Doughnuts has created a bacon topped maple bar:
They also have a doughnut namesake which is a chocolate covered raspberry jelly filled human shaped donut with some sort of spear-like cookie piercing it in the middle. And of course, there’s also the Cock n Balls doughnut which is cream filled and shaped like a … well take a wild guess. As they warn, order ahead of time, supplies can be limited. Find their menu here.
Oh yeah, by the way, I am in love with Anthony Bourdain too (sorry Ira).
Or maybe I am in love with Anthony Bourdain’s job. Getting paid to travel and eat? How can anyone be so lucky? Doesn’t he need a sidekick?
Over the weekend I spent some time on the coast where I was served the most delicious pumpkin pancakes with warm Vermont maple syrup and bacon. I would call that a bacon combo perfection. Simple. Delicious.
When I got back I started reading my friend Melissa’s blog and it was made apparent to me that I am being schooled about my love for bacon and that she actually means business. Clearly, I am not a professional bacon connoisseur. I don’t eat bacon spam. I just eat regular spam like all the other good Koreans.
See those crackers? They’re whole wheat. Whole wheat = healthy … right?
Find out what the finished appetizer looks like here. And the recipe for this bacon, bacon spam and cracker concoction here.
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