At the beginning of each year I write down an enormous list of New Year’s resolutions that is so beastly that I get depressed at the end of the year when I only cross out the two or three things that I actually accomplished. This year, I think I am going to take Nataly Kogan’s advice and start making my “resolutions” more positive, manageable and realistic. Nataly used to be a resolution list maker like me, but is now reformed and has stopped:
“Trying to fix something that I am pretty sure is not fixable … I am fairly certain that I will never have a flat stomach so after 33 years of life I’ve stopped making this a goal.”
At the end of each year Nataly also takes an inventory of things that she is thankful for or feels proud about. I think this is a fine plan. Here’s my go at it.
28 Things In 2008
Made a resolution to change.
Started earning more than I ever have in my entire life.
Quit that job because it made me terribly unhappy.
Took some time off.
Began a journey of self-discovery that didn’t involve religion, a guru or psychedelic drugs.
Survived the emotional spin cycle from a suicide attempt of a person who is close to our family.
Took a job because I was scared about the future but then quit that job in less than 90 days because I realized that ordinary is no longer palatable.
Stopped feeling bad or guilty about making mistakes.
Got diagnosed with hypertension and prescribed medication for it. Told the doctor that I would rather make lifestyle changes before taking pharmaceuticals. Actually started making those lifestyle changes.
Took some more time off.
Started blogging because I needed a creative outlet. Kept blogging because I love it.
Pleasantly surprised when people started reading my blog. As of this moment I’ve had 4,645 unique visitors, 6,489 visits and 11,983 pageviews since October 3rd. Woohoo!
Started saying “yes” to people, situations, things, experiences.
Learned how to communicate better with my daughter.
Cried with my daughter when we saw our President get elected.
Protested Proposition 8 along side my kid.
Took a picture of myself and tried looking at it without being critical of all the flaws.
Took more pictures of myself and now feel somewhat endeared to seeing the changes in my face as I become happier.
Actually got hired to participate in a video blogging panel with other kick ass bloggers.
Was proud that I actually accepted the video blogging assignment given that #17 was so hard.
Realized that I accept myself as I am right now, this very second.
Realized that life doesn’t stop and wait for you to be the perfect weight. It just keeps going and can pass you by if you wait till things are perfect.
Began to “pray” about things in a nonreligious sort of way.
Started a new gratitude practice. Which by the way, THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Started seeing exercise as a lifesaver instead of something just negative and awful.
Believes that I can fall in love for all the right reasons this time.
Believes that my dreams can actually come true.
Realizes that I am the one that I’ve been waiting for.
So today Rene and I had lunch at a place called Pig Iron BBQ. It was grub. Sure they have BBQ dishes. Yet even better than their BBQ are the really fantastic side dishes like collard greens and creamed corn and potato salad and sweet potato french fries and corn bread dressing. The sides are so good that they have an entree that consists of a selection of four of them. I am giddy just talking about it.
Sadly, this is a perfect example of the past 14 days of holiday and snowmaggedon binge eating. I just completely lost all sanity when it started snowing and didn’t stop for days and days and days. This meant I was staying at home all day baking (why did I get rid of cable?) and not going to the gym. It’s a slippery slope and suffice to say, I am off the tracks and back at 188 lbs again. Ugh.
A year ago I would have really starting beating myself up over having a setback like this, but nowadays I am just looking at this as a minor slip up. Not the end of the world, but something to be mindful about. There are wonderful things happening despite what the number is on that scale. I am in love with the life that I am making for myself and I’m not gonna let a “slip up” stop the progress.
I am totally lucky in the fact that I think that all my daughter’s friends are a kick in the pants … er … except for one. I like to think that I have a high tolerance for weird behavior and kids that are normally considered “social rejects” but this kid, well this kid is just a jerk. I don’t allow her in my house anymore. I call it an act of self-love. Plus, I think it’s good to avoid situations where I want to verbally beat down a child for being mouthy and indignant (these are nice words to describe the behavior).
I don’t fault Paige for wanting to be friends with her though. I mean, she is totally funny in a way that characters in a Judd Apatow movie are funny. Teens love that. As an adult, it’s a nightmare to supervise. All you can do is send them home and never ever ever invite them over again.
And never make eye contact with their parents when you see them.
I like knowing that my fellow cohorts at Momversation totally avoid people who have kids like that. Makes me feel like I’m not alone.
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