A Shot Of Bourbon To Steady The Nerves
Every night for the past two weeks I’ve struggled with turning my brain off and falling asleep. I actually think I am having anxiety attacks. It feels as though someone is placing a pillow to my chest and then an anvil top of it, bouncing up and down until I sit up in my bed and gasp for air. I almost wish I had cable television again just so I can zone out on a “The Hills” marathon or something, rather than endure this kind of madness.
What’s got my knickers in a bunch? Just stuff that according to this guy, things I have no control over. I’m worried about the future. I’m worried about the economy. I’m worried about being able to pay the mortgage in February. I’m worried about achieving all that I set out to do. My anxiety is totally eclipsing my ability to enjoy this quiet holiday season and my respite from working. It’s an endless cycle where I go to sleep so late that I wake up wasted in the morning … all tired and groggy. I’m basically a hot mess.
Two nights ago in order to thwart my 2-3 hours of anxiety, I made a heavenly concoction of bourbon and eggnog. It was like drinking liquid candy. I’ve decided that for Christmas I want one of those beer hats with slots for cups and straws on both sides – substituting one side to have bourbon and eggnog and the other with bourbon and apple cider. Sadly, since I drank so little, I really was not able to knock myself out efficiently. I mean, this guy is WASTED and he is still DRIVING around:
(This was brought to my attention by fellow Seattleite, Mona, who writes the blog Kirida.)
Last night I tried listening to a guided meditation cd by Deepak Chopra. I actually did fall asleep rather quickly during the first several tracks, but I woke up during a meditation called “Banishing Disease” where Chopra forcefully says things like,”I banish disease from your sinews, you anus, your entrails” against a backdrop of music that sounds like it could be used to charm a cobra. Nobody wants to wake up like that.
Perhaps tonight I’ll try recording my own guided meditation cd. It’ll say stuff like, “you’re floating in a pool of Makers Mark and when you’re thirsty, you just turn your head to the side and just sip.”
Tags: anxiety, insomnia, Midthirties Crisis, sweet bourbon
This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 at 12:29 pm and is filed under Daily. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
2 Responses to “A Shot Of Bourbon To Steady The Nerves”
Shameless!
In the interest of full disclosure, please note that product links redirecting you to other sites such as Amazon
, BlueHost, Freshbooks and OpenSky may take you a purchase page of a company where I am a member of an affiliate program. As a result, I will often get a small percentage of the revenue or a commission off of something you have purchased. I am not otherwise paid to link to these sites, nor do I link to any products that I don't actually use or covet in real life. On the rare occasion I accept payment to review a product, it will be duly noted in its associated post.
Have no fear - you are under no obligation to buy anything to get the full enjoyment of this site. We can still be friends even if you never click on an affiliate link. Rest assured, this is all low pressure. I will never show up at your door with tiny vials of Avon perfume or trial jars of pearl cream to entice you. That said, I do truly appreciate when you do purchase something from a linked site - it all helps to keep the lights on and a roof over our heads.
And Powered By
And Kept Organized By
I’m not very good at meditation–my mind wanders. But, I do like yoga. Have you tried that?
Asianmommy´s last blog post..Thumbprint Reindeer Cards
I really liked your blog! Praise Bacon and Hallelujah