Dadversation? What’s That?
I have been single for what seems like an eternity. Despite a smattering of dates here and there, I’ve hit a drought. And not just a seasonal drought, it’s more of like a sub-Saharan multigenerational kind of drought.
I don’t know how this happened, it didn’t start as a drought. It started as a break. A break from all the stormy weather you encounter at the demise of a relationship. I was going to take some time to reconfigure what it meant to be Giyen. But then break turned into dry spell and then into a full on drought in just a blink of an eye. I am just now encountering the notion of dating again. And am now one of those people who says, “Where do you meet guys? The good kind?”
At this point, I have been in relationships most of my adult life with some massive dating before and in between. I keep telling myself that I am going to start seriously putting myself out there but I never seriously do. Perhaps I am suffering the ill effects of too many RomComs. Or maybe it’s just harder to meet someone when you’ve become a woman of a certain age. So many guys that are in their mid-30s are ready to start procreating and I am not there. I will never get there. I don’t plan on having any more kids. As a single mom this means I am looking for a “daddy type” who doesn’t want kids. Where the hell do you find that (aside from someone who could be the age of my daddy as well)? Plus, Seattle is not known as the easiest place to meet people – a.k.a. the Seattle Freeze. People go to coffee shops and open their laptops and put their headphones on – instead of going to coffee shops to talk to people. This is nuts.
All I know is that watching Jon, Bryan, Hal and Mark, husbands of Dooce, Mighty Girl, Girls Gone Child and Cool Mom totally made me miss having a partner. But not for all the reasons that you would imagine. It’s just that I have a really odd sense of humor and I laugh all of the time. Sometimes to myself. I think it would be good to always have someone standing next to me so I don’t look crazy laughing to myself. That’s where a husband fits in. I think that it will cut down number of instances where people think I am nuts. Maybe by 50%.
Tags: bryan mason, cool mom, Dating, dooce, girls gone child, hal isaakson, jon armstrong, mark peel, mighty girl, momversation, seattle freeze, video
This entry was posted on Saturday, December 20th, 2008 at 10:48 am and is filed under Daily, Dating, Midthirties Crisis. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
so how about a single dad or divourced dad who doens’t want another baby/have older kids and that’s good for him? someone who is ready for chapter B?
Nurit -1 Family. Friendly. Food.´s last blog post..11 Tips for Eating Out (with Kids) While on Vacation
@nurit – i’m looking at all the options!
I married a “daddy type who didn’t want kids,” so I can tell you that they do exist. The trick is, I think, they have to come to the conclusion that they DO want kids — your kids. But I so feel you on this; dating is exhausting. On the other hand, I’m a big believer in stuff coming to us when we’re ready.
“I’m a big believer in stuff coming to us when we’re ready.”
Agreed! I recently stumbled into an amazing relationship with someone who has been a friend for a while. And who has always been great with/around my son. But when I first met him in 2006 I was in the midst of a divorce, and he was still living with his last girlfriend. But circumstances changed and the timing was right and bam! Happy times.
Sharyn´s last blog post..Dancing in My Head
Okay, I’m late to this party, as I just found your blog.
Anyway, I think you underestimate the number of “family-oriented” single guys who don’t want any (more) children. Divorce happens. Besides, some men started the families young, and wouldn’t dream of wanting to procreate again.
Oh, and a note to myself: don’t move to Seattle, the people won’t talk to each other.
David Crowell´s last blog post..Commuting by Bicycle – A Love/Hate Relationship
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