Have You Met Sasha Fierce? (I haven’t)

December 11th, 2008

I recently read that Beyonce has an alter ego. She was quoted saying this about it:

“I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work…When I’m on stage, this alter ego that I’ve created kind of protects me and who I really am. Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage.”

She then goes on to say:

“I have out-of-body experiences. If I cut my leg, if I fall, I don’t even feel it. I’m so fearless, I’m not aware of my face or my body.”

I think I laughed out loud when I read this. She totally sounds like someone who completely lost perspective or as BB would put it, “She gone lost her mind.” But then again, if I was rolling around in millions of dollars I might come up with alternative personality just so I could justify a whole separate wardrobe – “Uh, I’m not getting this for myself, I’m getting this for Sasha.”

Regardless of how nutty it sounds, it got me thinking about alter egos and whether or not everyone else has one too. Personally, I don’t think I have the time to nurture a second personality. I have issues with the first one, thank you very much. Plus, I also have that voice in my head (the negative voice) to contend with all of the time and sometimes that is almost like an alter ego.

Take yesterday for instance, I shot some footage for Momversation and felt completely self-defeated by the end of it. The “animated” Giyen looks way strange in comparison to the “still photo” Giyen. For someone who is just getting used to taking photos of herself, shooting video footage is absolutely dreadful. You can’t imagine what a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day” I had beating myself up about being overweight or not feeling very clever. It’s mentally exhausting to feel that way, I seriously wanted to drown myself in a nice big mug of Maker’s Mark and hot apple cider. And then chase it down with some Reddi-Wip straight from the canister (Don’t judge, you’ve done this too).

Since I was teetering on the edge of the self-destructive spiral downward, I decided to distract myself by catching up on some blog reading and internet surfing. Two things saved the day:

First, Good Morning America did a piece on Oprah’s January 2009 cover of O Magazine. Apparently, Oprah opens up about her recent weight gain in a frank essay you can find here. I know, I know there are a lot of Oprah lovers and haters (just read the comments in the GMA piece). Whatever. For someone who just shot some home video of herself feeling not so hot, knowing that Oprah gets out there and does it 100s of times a year put things into a bit of perspective for little ol’ me. Of course, she gets compensated by the billions and I scrap up enough for the said bottle of Maker’s Mark. But then again, Oprah could just as easily retire and say a big f@ck you to us all. It takes some chutzpah to keep going when you’ve got weight issues chipping away at your self-esteem.

Second, I read this post by Roni regarding her “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day” and thought to myself – here’s a lovely person who has won the battle with weight and even she has days that suck ass. Things don’t magically get perfect once you’ve lost the weight. THERE’S ALWAYS SOMEBODY SKINNIER THAN YOU. And that’s okay, you laugh and move-on.

Sometimes I just get so self-absorbed in my own misery that I just plain forget that one bad day out of a series of great days is just ONE bad day. Perhaps I will get to the point where I have out-of-body experiences and I’m no longer aware of my face or my body. But I doubt it.

Tags: beyonce, momversation, Oprah, reddi-wip, roni's weigh, sasha fierce, weight issues

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 11th, 2008 at 5:40 pm and is filed under Daily, Weight Loss. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.