Ugh. The Week After The “Before” Photo

January 19th, 2009

I am not going to lie. I am a bit frustrated today because I’ve only lost 1 pound this week despite the fact that I have been very conscientious about what I am eating and despite logging in 300 minutes of cardio last week. And I am not talking about “sitting on the recumbent bike while reading People Magazine” cardio. I am talking about that “heavy breathing while not holding on the sides of the elliptical trainer so I have to balance while simultaneously doing that weird shaped movement with my legs” cardio. I think my body is totally pissed off.

So these are not the same pictures from last week. I thought it would be a good idea to wear the same outfit for some reason, but now I think it’s kind of weird.

* * * *

On other weight loss related news, I have teamed up with 3 other bloggers – Nurit, Joie de Vivre and Sunny – in a team effort to lose weight. Though I feel completely accountable as a result of all of you who are keeping tabs on my progress, it’s always nice to get a bit more support from other people who are on the same journey. The internet is wonderful like that.

Each week we plan on asking ourselves questions about weight loss – what motivates us, what demotivates us – just whatever comes up. This week’s questions is:

Why am I overweight?

I used to make up a million excuses as to why I was overweight: I eat too much. I don’t exercise enough. I don’t have enough time to eat healthy. I’m too busy to exercise.

The real reason that I am overweight has so much to do with my self esteem. Being a people pleaser. Not putting myself first. Not having enough self-love. Not feeling as though I had value. I think I was so starved for attention as a young child that I just turned to food for comfort. I mean, I couldn’t do drugs at age 5. As I transitioned into an adult, those habits just persisted. I kept turning to food whenever I felt as though my life was unfulfilling. Which meant I was turning to food A LOT.

Then there are the sacrifices you think you are making as a parent. Not growing up with a loving mother figure, I ended up projecting an unrealistic “idea” of “perfect mother” onto myself when I became a parent. This included baking buttermilk biscuits from stratch and lots of warm chocolate chip cookies.

Fear also played a big role. I always blamed so much of my unhappiness on how much I weighed. But now that I look back on it, I was unhappy no matter what number was on the scale. I used being overweight as an excuse not to try new things or to pursue things that brought me joy. I had a “why even bother” mentality because of my weight issues – but really I think it was a cover for being afraid to bring joy into my life and then failing miserably at it.

I know I can lose weight. I’ve lost and gained hundreds of pounds through the years. It never stuck because I never changed on the inside … till now. I’m happy to say that I’m … uh … happy. I’m not perfect, but I’m happy nonetheless.

Here’s what everyone else has to say:

Sunny’s Post:
I don’t think it would be fair to blame the whole 20 pound weight gain on Chicken Biscuits.  (More like just the last 5 lbs, hehe!)  I actually think I could blame the majority of the weight I gained on
dieting. Here’s why… www.ThatExtra20Pounds.blogspot.com

Nurit’s post:

1 family. friendly. food. answers:

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She didn’t like to eat, her mom didn’t like to cook, and her dad lived in the land of far far away so he wasn’t around to do any cooking. (Oh, well, it wasn’t “IN” for men to cook those days anyway). The little girl never ate breakfast and she rarely ate the food in her school lunchbox. Her mom was annoyed when she returned her lunchbox back with all the food, so she got rid of the evidence in the trash before she got home. To read more, click 1 family. friendly. food.

Joie de Vivre’s post:

The question this week is “How did I get overweight in the first place?”  I think for me, it is more helpful to look at the habits I possess that contributed to my weight gain and talk about what I’m going to do to change them. 1.  I eat way too fast.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 19th, 2009 at 3:49 pm and is filed under Weight Updates. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

14 Responses to “Ugh. The Week After The “Before” Photo”

  1. Nurit -1 Family. Friendly. Food. Says:

    January 19th, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    I love your look inside yourself perspective. That was a real terrific post. Honest and open. I’m also that way, trying to find the real roots of the problems, analyzing and trying to understand myslef better. I relate to what you are saying… learning to love ourselves, believing that we deserve to be happy!

    Nurit -1 Family. Friendly. Food.´s last blog post..Hop On the Weight Loss Train – Yes/No?

  2. It's All in the Mind Says:

    January 20th, 2009 at 1:14 am

    Hang in there sweetie. Heck .. you LOST a pound! You LOST weight, not gained! Who cares if it’s not much … at least it’s progress in the right direction. Frustration is a nagging enemy that feeds negative energy. Keep focusing on the positive and it’ll happen.

  3. MizFit Says:

    January 20th, 2009 at 3:45 am

    LOVELOVELOVE and so reminds me of what the amazing Bob Green would have asked you to do.

    if you get a moment email me your weights routine so I can eyeball it!

    and a pound? thats no small thing, Missy :)

    MizFit´s last blog post..Let’s burn some calories & stoke that metabolic fire!

  4. Israel Says:

    January 20th, 2009 at 4:25 am

    You are on the right track. good job. Even if you did not lose weight, you did something better. You are forming the basis of consistency. That’s more important in the long run. Keep in mind that once you lose the weight you still need to maintain that loss, so building consistency now is crucial.

    That one pound, great job on that. There will be weeks when you dont lose anything, so dont fret. You may even gain some weight after a while as the body fluctuates or you gain muscle weight.

    And about the challenge…can A fella be down???

    Israel´s last blog post..Take My Nautilus Free-Weight Squat/Bench/Pulldown Rack

  5. Meredith Says:

    January 20th, 2009 at 5:29 am

    From where I’m sitting, you still lost weight and inches. Keep up the great work! I’m sure all that cardio is doing wonders for your cardio system (go figure, right?).

  6. Sue Says:

    January 20th, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Just a “You are my inspiration for the week” I shall go get on the treadmill right now…we all fight our own battles…mine are my big honking legs…

    Sue´s last blog post..He should have been born a "Fish"…

  7. Sunny Says:

    January 20th, 2009 at 9:48 am

    Thanks for sharing your story. No one will ever be perfect, but “happy” is something we all reach for!

    Sunny´s last blog post..Weight Loss Weekly- Why the heck did I even gain this weight in the first place??

  8. AP Says:

    January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Hey, so you only lost a pound, but I’m betting you GAINED muscle mass. You’re probably already stronger than you were when you started. The increase in muscle probably why your weight hasn’t dropped more. Look at it this way, the more muscle mass you have, the more calories you will burn so this is part of the process of setting you up for successful weight loss. You’re building your “fat burning furnaces” as someone once described it to me. Keep it up!

  9. christieo Says:

    January 21st, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    I used to call it “One lonely pound at a time” and there were times that it would just kill me because I worked out so hard and I’d get just one pound off. Yes, it’s one lonely pound, but I swear to you sister, if you keep going they.will.add.up.

    I promise.

    I took it “one decade of numbers” at a time. For instance, I would make it an immediate goal to get to the new decade of numbers, somewhere in the 180s. Then, the next goal, make it to the 170’s. If you have to play mind games like I do, pretend you only have 10 pounds to lose and feverishly work on those. Then, do another 10. When you start to see these new numbers on the scale (even if its been slow going and one lonely pound at a time), there will be nothing but rejoicing. One pound is awesome! I know it seems frustrating but you should be proud!!!!

    christieo´s last blog post..Chapters

  10. Recumbents, Squirrels, and Pork Products « Says:

    January 22nd, 2009 at 6:06 am

    [...] felt the same way as this little guy yesterday when one of my favorite blogs, Bacon is my Enemy, poked fun at people like me who exercise on recumbent bikes. I still feel badly about what she [...]

  11. Sharyn Says:

    January 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 am

    “I think my body is totally pissed off”

    This cracks me up because I have totally been there. But it took a pretty traumatic set of events to get my sorry ass back to the gym. After not one but two pregnancy losses my body was all buh?

    The good news is that it gets easier. I’ve been working out regularly, 2-3 times a week, for nearly three years. I haven’t been tracking weight loss (not organized enough/too disheartening) but I definitely *feel* better and have noticed I sleep more soundly after working out. Over the holidays I saw some relatives I hadn’t seen in a long time – all who remarked upon my apparent (to them) weight loss.

    Hang in there. You are off to a great start!

    Sharyn´s last blog post..Feeding Hungry Minds

  12. Jason Says:

    January 22nd, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    I think you look pretty good the way you are.

  13. Benjamin A.Thomas BT Says:

    December 7th, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Even though dieticians say this book is not based on science, they cannot say it is dangerous, because all the food groups and nutrients are included. I tried Atkins and got really sick of greasy food! It contains too many omega 6 fats, which are the worst fats for our health. On Somers’ plan there are many more choices. I lost eight pounds the first month I tried it, which I was happy with, since fast losses often bring fast returns. We’ve had a house guest for six months who loved to bake great desserts, and I have no control when the smell of a peach or apple pie in the oven is wafting all over my house, so I gained ten pounds. I’m starting the plan again, and I hope I can repeat my first month and then continue losing. I am taking an effective fiber drink for the control of cholesterol, and I wonder if it is OK to take it with orange or grapefruit juice, or will that mess up keeping the fruit separate? Grapefruit, especially, isn’t that sweet, so I thought it might be OK.

  14. Irnest S.Oser Says:

    December 8th, 2009 at 2:26 am

    The things I learned from this book changed my life. I am a happier healthier me. I feel lighter and I don’t just mean weight wise. I was surprised at how healthy I felt and how much negativity I had stored in me that was released after only 10 days. I had so much energy and I was cleansing at the same time.

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