Regularly Taking Showers Again
This week’s topic: How do you talk to your kids about death?
Dana Loesch from Mamalogues and Alice Bradley from Finslippy weigh in:
I won’t lie. I was down in the dumps after my Uncle’s passing. As a result, I was kind of “loose” with my normal grooming habits. For instance, I think I wore the same sweats for 3 days in a row. In fact, I probably wore the same everything for 3 days in a row. Just so you know, by day 3 your sweats are starting to sag around the ass and knees which looks REALLY flattering. This may have worked when I was 18 and was all fresh and dewy in my youth, but when you’re 34, you end up looking like a washed out druggie looking for a fix.
I just watched the latest Momversation episode (which was filmed last week) and my hair looks all flat and shiny (but it’s all greasy and gross). Just so y’all know, I spend half the time wearing my hair flat and the other half painstakingly curling it with a 3/4 inch Vidal Sassoon ceramic curling iron that I got at Marshalls for $9.99. (It is the best curling iron that I ever owned and it recently died as well. There was a moment of grieving involved with that too.)
Because I have issues with falling asleep, you can pretty much guess how much rest I got based on whether or not my hair is curly (because it takes so much time to do). I keep telling myself that I am going to break down and get a perm just so I can sleep in and still get the same effect, but everytime that say “perm” to someone, they make a face and say something like, “DID YOU SAY PERM? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? THAT IS SOOOO 80′s.”
And don’t even try say the word “perm” in a salon. It’s like the F-word in there.
Tags: alice bradley, curling iron, dana loesch, death, finslippy, grief, mamalogues, momversation
This entry was posted on Thursday, February 26th, 2009 at 6:42 am and is filed under Daily. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
8 Responses to “Regularly Taking Showers Again”
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Micheal Rosen’s Sad Book. It is a picture book but I love how it presents grief. And the illustrations are as moving as the text.
I’ve been fortunate thus far to only have to talk to my boys about the death of a pet not a person. But when our oldest dog passed it was hard for my 3 year old to grasp but he knew something because as he put it…his heart hurt.
I told him then that his heart hurt because all the love you had for Zoe was welling up and trying to come out all at once to surround you when he was sad. It seemed to ease the worry of why his heart was hurting.
PS:You looked fine. All I noted was that your hair was straight that day versus curled. Good luck in finding a new curling iron friend. Replacing a favorite can be an awful process these days.
MamaB´s last blog post..Grace in Small Things #53
Oh, Giyen, I am in the same boat! It’s just me and the little man in this world. And just last night he was talking about how that makes him sad. Which made me sad.
Unfortunately the topic of death has always been right in the poor kid’s face. From an early age he was aware that I’d had one sibling growing up, and that my brother died when he was 18. Then when my son was 6 I was pregnant with *his* brother, but Felix was stillborn. In the months immediately following that both of our 14 year old cats became ill and died, and my marriage ended. A whole lot of grieving all at once.
Since my son is autistic these concepts are even more abstract to him than they might be to neurotypical children. He needs to talk it through on a regular basis. It used to throw me off. First thing in the morning I’d be making coffee and packing lunches and he would point at my belly and say something like “remember when my brother was in your belly? And he DIED?” Three years later I’ve become sort of desensitized to it even though I am still grieving.
Sharyn´s last blog post..Old Enough to Know Better
My 6yo has a somewhat morbid sense of humor, he probably gets it from me. We have been fortunate enough to not have anyone close to us die recently, but he asks questions about it all the time.
Kaycee´s last blog post..Take a deep breath….
That’s so funny (about the hair, not death). When my mother moved out here to live with us it took me about six months to actually FIND a salon with a hairdresser who would do a perm. (yeah, she’s one of those perpetually black-haired, curly haired Asian ladies)
Having said that, I’m very sorry about the loss of your uncle.
foodie mcbody´s last blog post..When Everyone is Not On Board: The White Rice Wars
You are gorgeous and I enjoy your blog so much. Get a perm if it makes you happy but remember they are not without some work in the morning. I used to have to at least wet my hair and scrunch before I got the curls. But yeah, I loved my hair then.
Death. My kids were first exposed to death through pets. They were heartbroken and needed ceremony and a lot of talk to get them through. 3 years ago our neighbor died. I had been helping her stay at home and we were all involved in her life. She was so kind to my kids, always thinking of them and making sure I bought them candy when I was out running errands for her.
My kids experienced a lot of grief when she died. We did a lot of talking about what a full life she had led being 86, how she missed her late husband and where she had gone. Not being a religious person I explained how SOME people felt on the subject and then relayed my beliefs (for a long time I was fascinated by life after death.. and angels ).
We all went to the memorial held in her home and learned more about her through the moving eulogies by her daughters. The kids still talk about Charlotte to this day with fondness.
As awful as it may sound I am glad my kids have experienced death as they have. Should anything happen to someone very close to them they will at least have a taste of the grieving process and know time does heal.
So sorry to hear of the loss of your uncle.
The hair part is hilarious – I had my hair permed off and on from 1984 to 1993. I still think about doing it again, but you’re right, saying “perm” in a salon IS like saying the F-word!
I found your blog on Google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Bacon News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Hi I just stumbled upon your blog from cnn.com – a shout out to my fellow Korean-American sista
. I just got a perm – am living in Singapore and I learned here that all the Asian ladies have either a straight or a curly perm – who knew? If you have a Korean salon around you can get a digital perm. It’s a much more relaxed version of what I sported between age 8 and 18. I love it – I just need to fuss a few minutes in the morning with the front so it lies down but the back is more or less wash and wear! Really enjoying your blog.
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