A couple of weeks ago I did an iReport video about how I felt about the whole Susan Boyle phenomenon. In a nutshell, I was poo-pooing on her parade and ranting on about how I am sometimes sick of how obsessed people are about the underdog story. In defense of the video, I could have articulated my thoughts better – but honestly, I don’t feel any differently – I still don’t get it. Maybe I am missing an emotional chip here.
Over 17,000 people watched that iReport video. And most of them now hate me. Boy did I ever underestimate the power of the “underdog.” Here is a sample of some of the comments and emails that I received from viewers:
Your bias and your not smart enough to realize it. You spend more effort and time on weight loss and thinking about it then many people in the US. Maybe YOU need to stop judging others.
Giyen, you are an idiot.
Giyen I regret you felt the need to share your opinion for the blase are a dime a dozen. I really don’t like the way you look, not your Asian features but the expression you have about you. You really do believe your own hype and that’s a classic sign of an egotist.
WHY do you want to rob this talented woman of her moment in the sun??? Jealous, much?
That was just a sample. Apparently, people love some Susan Boyle. I think it’s all hyperbole.
In my mind, the Susan Boyle story is a classic “swan” story:
Act One: Woman enters scene with everything going against her – looks, age, whatever. Crowd boos and judges scoff.
Act Two: Woman overcomes, dazzles people with her singing ability. Melts even the toughest of hearts.
Act Three: Woman is now Cinderella and millions adore her.
This is fine. I am okay with this and good for her. She showed some guts and has a lovely voice. But sadly, it doesn’t change the fact that this is a huge story because of her looks, not in spite of her looks. The last couple of weeks of media hype only makes me feel more justified about the spectacle: “Susan Boyle, new make over! New Clothes! Shaped eyebrows!”
However, here is the lesson that I learned in this whole ordeal: DON’T MESS WITH SOMETHING THAT IS INHERENTLY POSITIVE. If it makes people feel happy and positive and puts a smile on people’s faces (no matter how deluded that I think that is) what’s the harm in that? We could all use a little something that makes us smile these days.
In this episode of Momversation, Mindy Roberts from The Mommy Blog asks the question, “How has divorce effected you?”
Since you and I can’t sit and sip on a bottle of bourbon and chat all day about this, here’s the short version answer to that question:
My father has been married four times. FOUR TIMES. How can that not mess you up?
Of the four marriages, wife #2 was by far the worst. I can unapologetically say that being around her was worse than being around my own mother, who was a paranoid schizophrenic. If that ain’t saying something, then I don’t know what else does.
To sum it all up – wife # 2 was incredibly abusive, both verbally and physically. I can trace most of my neurosis as an adult from the seven years that she spent casting an ominous cloud over me. That woman completely terrorized me in a “Mommy Dearest” kind of way (“NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!”). And to make matters worse, she treated my older sister like she was her pet. I, on the other hand, was called “dae-jee” (or “piggy” in Korean) and was ridiculed for being less than perfect. When my father and she finally got a divorce, I was doing a little happy dance inside. I was just so relieved to not walk on eggshells all the time or be yelled at for things like not folding the laundry correctly. It was a complete relief to me, but my sister was completely devastated.
After living through 3 divorces as a child and watching a zillion fights – my views relationships are completely skewed. As a result, I’ve had three major relationships in my life and none of them panned out. I did the best that I could with the dysfunctional toolbox that I had, but I really think my past relationships have been a diversion to avoid dealing with who I was. I fell into a trap that was hard to climb out of.
Nowadays, I think I have moved passed all that. I am a champion for love. I don’t necessarily believe that marriage is important, but love – love is something that I would go to the mat for. I give all the credit to Heather, Rebecca and Daphne for making their marriages work. From my experience, it’s not easy to maintain a relationship for the long haul. And as for Mindy, I think sometimes it’s harder to walk away … and choose happiness and self preservation.
When giving relationship advice, I always tell people to choose happiness. If you are happier together, even though things are sometimes bad, then it’s worth holding out for the times when things are good. If you spend your days fantasizing about being solo (I did this alot) then get out – get out fast.
And for goodness sakes, be gentle with your kids. They are no reason to “stay together” but there’s no good reason to tear them up while your relationship is falling apart.
PS. Check out the comment section of this Momversation episode. These ladies have a lot to say on the topic of divorce and are quite frank about their own experiences. I think it’s great to hear the whole spectrum of stories.
Like many of you out there, I have been trying (very unsuccessfully) to trim down my spending habits to the bare minimum. I just looked at my bank account and it looks pretty grim given that I am planning several trips this summer. The only way that I can think of to save money right now is to skim the fat off of my already lean living expenses. This means I most likely will need to cut out my favorite pastime – going out to eat.
Some of you may fancy dining out as a means to an end (“I’m hungry and I don’t want to cook” or “I am meeting some friends for lunch”) but I actually look at going out to eat as the “main event” to an evening out. As a hobby I follow restaurant openings, new chefs, reviews, cookbooks, food blogs etc, etc, etc. It’s an obsession and one that is hard to manage when you are on a diet. Don’t even get me started on wine.
But sadly, all good things must come to an end. Looking over last week’s expenditures, I just realized that I went out to eat 7 times in 7 days – which is probably a good explanation for how I sabotaged myself and gained a pound. Drinking bourbon and then eating Korean and Thai food is probably not the best idea when you are on a diet either. If you were wondering, I KNOW THIS.
In my own defense, it’s so hard to be good when you are taunted with the plethora of food options that Seattle has. Just look at the place that we ate at on Sunday:
Those people have been waiting there for 45 minutes to eat at a divey Thai joint on The Ave called Thai Tom. It’s tiny in there – basically a countertop with 8-10 seats and 4 tables that seat 2. The staff generally treat you like shit and don’t hesitate to tell you to not come back if you don’t tip sufficiently. That said, I have never been there where there wasn’t a crowd waiting to eat there and 10 take out orders in process. It’s that good.
Sadly though, a week of food debauchery manifests itself with a 1 lb gain and a protruding gut. I am beginning to think that the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is this blog. Seriously, Monday updates just about save me from myself each week. Knowing that I have to come to terms with the weight gain/loss with all of you makes me feel accountable – regardless of if I am feeling like a complete mamby pamby for my highs and lows.
And thank God you are here, because I am pressing the reset button this week and quite literally cutting the fat out of a lot of aspects in my life. I need to get my kicks somewhere and it certainly won’t be from the inside of a restaurant.
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