Archive for May, 2009
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Thursday, May 28th, 2009
When KoreAm Journal asked to interview me I was ecstatic about it. In fact, I am still ecstatic about it. As a “rogue” Korean, it feels really good to know that I register somewhere higher on the Korean-ness scale than I had originally thought. I mean, I am in a magazine with other REAL KOREANS. That at least gets the meter to a 4 or 5, doesn’t it? With or without the Honda.
Obviously, the first thing I did when I received my keepsake copy of the May issue (thanks KoreAm!), I turned right to the interview.
Let me just say that one of the weirdest things about getting interviewed is that if I say something stupid during the interview, it sounds even MORE idiotic a couple months later in print. Also, you never know how the article is going to turn out … what picture will they use? What will be the tone be like? Will things be taken out of context? I am happy to say that these things didn’t happen with the KoreAm piece. Angelie did a great job corralling my long-winded answers into a cohesive article. And she just had a baby and is sleep deprived and is still very nice.
What I didn’t expect was this:
(more…)
Tags: interview, KoreAm Magazine, press
Posted in Daily | 15 Comments »
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009
The funny thing about losing weight this time around is that I now realize that it’s not about losing weight at all. It’s about self-worth and love. Knowing that you are worthy of achieving whatever your mind can manifest and loving yourself enough to take steps towards making it happen.
I took some time over the weekend to take inventory in all the things that I felt were wrong with my life. Actually, it all got started when I couldn’t find the battery charger for my camera (note no picture this week). I looked in the junk drawer, in the kitchen, under the couch – EVERYWHERE. I wasted an entire afternoon looking for it (still can’t find it) and came to the conclusion that my disorganized house is a reflection of my life – in disarray.
Though I have a lot of things that I am grateful for these days, I always have this nagging feeling that I am just shy of living the best version of my life. I feel good, but I want to feel great. My life is rich, but I want it to be extraordinary. It’s not that I am dissatisfied, but I know that things could be better. They should be better.
Instead of feeling down about it or like things were out of control, I decided to accept the situation for what it was and move on. I made a list of the things that I felt were really bothering me about my life:
- My home (which should be a sanctuary) is terribly uninspired. In fact, it has become that house on the block.
- My financial situation is messy – $22,000 in debt from credit cards and personal/auto loans. This does not feel good.
- Though I have friends, I sometimes feel lonely or without purpose.
- I am tired of supporting myself by working in a career that I am not passionate about.
- I am not in optimal health.
And most remarkably, instead of the 100 things that I pretend like there are, I could barely think of 5 things. Seriously, that’s all that I could think of.
Conquering this list seems completely doable. In fact it seems downright easy in comparison to things that are really hard like solving the climate crisis or figuring out how to bring medical care to rural areas of Africa. The last 3 items don’t even need any money, just resolve!
What it comes down to though, is that Ive been focusing on everything else but those goals. I’ve been a classic martyr and used to pride myself on the things that I would do for other people. Of course, I would then turn around and chide myself for not fixing the things that bothered me. But as long as everyone else was happy, I felt smug about it all. It’s really actually embarrassing to think about.
Over the weekend, I am happy to report that I spent two whole days cleaning my house purging the things that I have no use for. As a result, two trunkful of things went straight to goodwill. I already feel lighter. And actually, I am lighter … down a pound from last week. Maybe it wasn’t the most dramatic weight loss, but if you include the miscellaneous stuff I just got rid of, I actually lost 75 lbs.
Who knew that coming clean would make my spirit lighter?
Now if I could only find my battery charger …
Posted in Milestones, Weight Loss, Weight Updates | 16 Comments »
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
It is beautiful here in Seattle right now. The 10-day forecast goes something like this – sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun & sun.
Today, Paige celebrated the entry of summer weather by coming out of her room in a tunic this morning.
Paige: Can I wear this to school?
Me: What else are you wearing with it?
Paige: Uh, this is it.
Me: No it’s not.
Paige: Yes it is.
Me: No, you are missing a bottom.
Paige: This is a dress.
Me: No, it’s a tunic.
Paige: Can I wear it?
Me: Sure, once you put some shorts or pants on.
Paige: I want to wear it like this.
Me: No.
Paige: Why not?
Me: That’s a tunic.
Paige: No, it’s a dress.
Me: It’s too short, whatever it is.
Paige: YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE.
Me: Well, I guess if that if your life is ruined, it won’t matter if you’re grounded.
Paige: Aaaauuuggghhhhh!!!!!
Lately, all of our conversations have been like some version of this. I can hardly stand the constant arguing over EVERY. SINGLE. POINT. If it’s one isolated conversation like this, I am generally good about keeping my cool. But if it’s a constant barrage of “if you say up, I’ll say down,” day in and day out and unrelenting in it’s frequency … I lose it. I am not built to withstand a constant barrage of dissent at each corner.
So if you were wondering how I felt about this whole boundary pushing thing? It sucks.
Posted in Daily, Parenting | 18 Comments »
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