Yo-Yo-Yo | Bacon Is My Enemy

Yo-Yo-Yo

May 11th, 2009

weighin_051109

This morning I got on the scale and just about had meltdown when I realized the scale had gone the wrong direction again. And not just a pound … but three! When this happens …

I am mortified.

I am angry.

I am frustrated.

At myself.

For the self-sabotage (What harm can one margarita do?).

For the delusional thinking (I’ll work off that slice of cake!).

For not maintaining the balance that I so desperately need.

Seriously.

No seriously.

I’ve just realized that it’s so much harder “gradually” losing the weight. Learning to do something FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE is such a challenge. I do much better on the “eat only meat” type of diets because then it’s not about a diet … it’s just a mission to live within a box for a truncated amount of time. Just plow through it till you reach your goal and then it’s over. Your done. Go back to the bourbon and cheesecakes.

But the problem is, I’ve done the “box thing” ad nauseum. I can’t do the box thing anymore. The box is depressing. Stifling.

And hence, I struggle.

I haven’t quite mastered how far I can orbit around my center.

I don’t even know where center is.

But I have a hunch that it’s not between a side of bacon and shot of bourbon on the rocks.

Sigh.

Tags: cnn, ireport, weight loss photos, weight loss stats

This entry was posted on Monday, May 11th, 2009 at 8:39 pm and is filed under Weight Loss, Weight Updates. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

15 Responses to “Yo-Yo-Yo”

Spring Girl Says:
May 11th, 2009 at 11:07 pm

And yet, look at the smile in that photo! It’s really nice to see.

Spring Girl´s last blog post..Juice and a dance of joy
Krystal Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 1:52 am

You look beautiful with that smile on your face! I’m struggling with my weight too. Just 4 years ago I weighed 120 and no well… Lets just say I’ve gained more than 50lbs.

Which sucks to say the least.

But I got this book called, “Naturally Thin”. And wow, it makes sense! I love it! I’ve been following the book for a week now and have lost 5lbs!

It’s the first time I haven’t been on a diet in 2 years!

Krystal´s last blog post..For My Mom
Mir Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 3:54 am

I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated, and I wish I had the magic solution. I’ve been following this crazy-restrictive diet to address some skin issues I’m having, and yesterday my jeans were noticeably looser so I hopped on my Wii Fit to weigh myself (I don’t own a scale). According to the Fit, I’ve gained 2 pounds. LOL! The numbers can be maddening.

Mir´s last blog post..Two whole years
Meredith Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 5:12 am

If it’s any consolation, you still look wonderful. It’s a struggle, but you’ll make it!
Berni Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 5:22 am

You look gorgeous. Learning to do something for the rest of your life is a challenge and I know that familiar pull of the quick fix, hiding around the corner, taunting me with all it’s promises. Just think, once we work out our balance, it will be easy and the rest of out lives will be fricken fantastic!

Berni´s last blog post..I got an award!!!!
Jenn Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 5:44 am

I’ve been fighting the same battle my whole life, so I know EXACTLY how you feel.
For me, the missing link has been the mental part of overeating (or poor eating). Sure, I can follow every diet created (and I think I have), but I never really tackle the “why” part of it. Why am I eating like this? There’s more to it than just hunger (at least for me).
Don’t give up on yourself! It is a constant battle, but you can’t win if you give up!

Jenn´s last blog post..Skinny Ankles
Mary @ Holy Mackerel Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 6:02 am

I hate it when that happens. Just keep on truckin’!! It’ll happen. Two steps forward, one step back…

Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog post..It’s My Turn
theantijared Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 8:04 am

I thought this was going to be about old school rap Oh well, nothing wrong with a Margarita here and there.
Neena Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 8:51 am

If you ever figure out how to find the center let me know!

Neena´s last blog post..Do you ever just wish you had the nerve to do it!?
Nina Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:28 am

Annoying I know, but I’m going to say it…It is not about what the scale says, but how you feel. Do you feel bloated and gross? well then you have a problem. Do you feel great and healthy? like you are living life to the fullest? then you are doing just fine! everyone has setbacks. I was honestly beginning to wonder if you were human! you have been doing so well and working hard. Each day is a new day, pick yourself up and start again. oh and I saw your video on CNN about being judged on how you look, and you looked so pretty!!
K Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 6:21 pm

Girl, I have been there and done that. The thing is, you need to find a happy-medium. You know, the thing is… food is not our enemy. We are our own worst enemies. We just need to find a way to take small steps. Because the small steps are what lead us to the goal.

No guilt and move on.

Besides, how fun would life be if we didn’t have a margarita (or 6) and a little bacon once in awhile?

K´s last blog post..Urinary tract infection… how fun
Worst Mom Ever Says:
May 13th, 2009 at 6:35 am

So many of us have our dirty little secrets. I love that you admit you want a drink, I want a drink too (actually I’d like several)! I have an never-ending 8 lbs that I fight. Some times I lose a few then it all comes back. My only consolation is that if I was not fighting this 8 lbs I’d probably be another 50 over-weight I guess my 8lbs are keeping the 50 off!

Worst Mom Ever´s last blog post..Negative…
Jess Says:
May 14th, 2009 at 1:36 pm

You can do it!!!!!!

Jess´s last blog post..I fought the lawn and the sun won.
Susan Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 7:25 pm

I’m sorry you’re frustrated with your weight.
I’m 47 and have had some success as of late. I want to tell you about it. I tend to ramble though so take a deep breath.

In October I was bending over to dry myself off after a shower and my back gave out for 2 solid weeks. I was in such pain. The chiropractor helped me out and all was well again. I lost 10 pounds over those 2 weeks because I felt so bad I lost my appetite!!! Yay.

I scheduled a doctors appointment because I had gotten a job and was not doing well at all physically. The doctor told me I had both high blood pressure and diabetes. No wonder I felt like a big pile of doo. The nurse explained if I didn’t get serious about dropping some weight my pancreas would give out….actually I think the word she used was explode. For the very first time I was really scared.

For years my doctor had been warning me about my weight. With my extreme lack of energy and shortness of breath I knew I had finally hit bottom. Out of all the weight loss books I had read and all of the lectures I had endured the doctor said this one thing that sort of tapped into my brain that day.

She told me to stop eating bread, rice, sugar, potatoes and pasta for 14 days. White food. I thought for 14 days even I could give it a try. I was feeling so extremely sluggish. I knew I had to do this. I had to. For the next 14 days I did do it too.

Never in a billion years did I think I could. Never!!! I had been a stay at home mom for 25 years. One of the reasons I had gone to the doctor was because I quite suddenly had a job. I felt like I was going to die from the exertion!!! It was just temporary for the holidays but it seriously kicked my ass.

I was so short of breath just from the walk in the parking lot to my work area!!! Honestly my chest was heaving and I couldn’t stop sweating for a 10 full minutes. I was sooooo embarrassed. That embarrassment I felt kept me from eating that white food over those 14 days.

So I hurt my back in October, got a seasonal job in November, and then a part time job in January that I still have. I weighed myself a few days ago and I’ve lost 41 pounds. In October when I went to the chiropractor and they weighed me I was mortified.

I swear to you I never in a million years would have thought I could lose this much weight. Never. I’m too much of a fast food, no portion control kind of girl.

The doctor gave me drugs to control my high blood pressure and it went from 168 down to 128 last visit. My blood sugar is controlled with drugs so I have energy now. I like to clean the house again. I want to go walk around the mall with my friends. I enjoy riding my recumbent bike because I have energy.

For years I lost all desire to get busy and would just eat instead. I’m still really fat and need to lose alot of weight but I feel so good about myself now it doesn’t seem so hard anymore.

So do yourself a favor and try to stop eating white food for just 14 days. On your calendar block out 14 days in red. Mark them off each day. Go buy some colorful food. Just try it. If you go off the deep end and eat some white food just start over the next day. No harm done. Best wishes…..
Susan Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 7:39 pm

I should’ve mentioned I DO eat white food now but not as much.
I really try to stay away from it and I don’t miss it except for tortillas.
I eat flour tortillas.
Loads of them.
Keeping away from white food for 14 days sort of kick started my weight loss and gave me motivation because it somehow worked.

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