My Pretend Boyfriend
Saturday night. Paramount Theater. Three chairs. Three microphones. Two side tables. Two buckets filled with Heineken. Anthony Bourdain. Mario Batali. Luke Burbank, moderator. A crowd of adoring fans. A conversation about food.
Who would have thought that listening to two guys talk about themselves for 2 hours would be so entertaining. I mean, I talk about food and/or myself all fucking day and it bores people to tears. Sometimes I walk into a room and all of the sudden everyone needs to go to the bathroom or walk their dog or get a root canal. Who knew that there are people out there that PAY MONEY to hear other people TALK. ABOUT THEMSELVES EVEN! And the best thing is is that there’s no schtick. It’s just talking up on stage sorta like you would around the dinner table. Clearly, I took a wrong turn in my career path at some point. THIS IS WHY MY PARENTS IMMIGRATED TO AMERICA.
My favorite Batali comeback of the evening was when Bourdain chided Batali for travelling around Spain with a certain someone who doesn’t eat pork. Batali shot back:
“It just means there’s more for me.”
My favorite quote (as best I can recite) from Bourdain was:
“I’ve travelled all around the world. I’ve eaten brains, entrails and all sorts of unsavory things. The scariest thing that I’ve ever eaten was a Chicken McNugget.”
So maybe I am a groupie. Some people have Brad Pitt. Other people like McDreamy or McSteamy. For me, it’s Anthony Bourdain. At 52, he is just plain sexy. It was sadly apparent that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. During the last 30 minutes of the discussion, there was a Q&A session with the audience. For the most part it went something like this:
- Where are you drinking tonight?
- If you want, I can show you around Seattle!
- Where are you going after the show?
- Where are you going to eat?
- Do you want to hang out and drink?
- I LOVE YOU MAN.
- You are hot!
The best audience interaction was when this young twentysomething girl sauntered up to the microphone and said in her most sultry twentysomething way:
Girl: “Mario, I think you are wonderful, you taught my mother how to cook. I am so grateful. Anthony, you are sooooooooooooo incredibly sexy.”
Anthony (to Mario): “Ha! You get cooking! I get sexy!”
You gotta love that.
Tags: anthony bourdain, Foodie, mario batali, paramount
13 Responses to “My Pretend Boyfriend”
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Omigosh! I totally know what you mean. One of the cutest things my husband says is ‘I have to warn you, I’m feeling weak about food’ which means he wants to go for pizza, a burger or something equally naughty. I also love Nigella, I’m not sure how popular she is in the US but she’s the one person I’d leave my man for. If she’d have me.
Chilli Walter´s last blog post..Germany’s Next Ugly Face
That sounds like a blast! Anthony’s totally hot.
Jen L.´s last blog post..Dean’s Mom
Sounds like you had a great time. I love the quotes from the evening — that had to have been delightfully amusing. =)
I have a “thing” for Anthony Bourdain as well. Lucky you!
Ha! The sad thing? I too have a bit of an Anthony Bourdain crush – even though he HATES vegans – with a passion that burns. But the man is so charismatic, and such a good writer. I was sold on him after reading a piece about his experiences filming a show in and getting out of Lebanon (my family’s homeland) when Israeli started the war in 2006. He is just plain compelling.
Sharyn´s last blog post..Unwillingness To Surrender
Argh!! I live in Seattle and I did not know about this!! I am so crushed!
What an amazing night that must have been. Mario came to the Microsoft Campus to speak last year while promoting his latest cookbook and I couldn’t get enough of him. I know you’re probably wondering why Mario Batali comes to Microsoft… not the point
My favorite part was how he described some of his not-favorite ‘chefs’ on the Food Network now.. such diplomatic wit!
Sara´s last blog post..Customer Service – Starting From "No"
girl, you better STEP AWAY from the bourdain cus that fine piece of man meat is MINE.
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I adore Anthony Bourdain. I’ve read all his books, I watch his show religiously and I don’t care if he’s 27 years my senior… what an amazingly sexy man.
Sara´s last blog post..Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back.
I once told my husband that if Anthony asked me… I would run away and have a torrid affair. He just shrugged and said, “I get it… I kinda have a man crush!”
jasmine´s last blog post..Simple Joy
I am so jealous. He was down in the South Bay the Thursday before my marathon, but I had track. I so wanted to see him. Not only is he sexy, he has a way with words that makes you laugh and think at the same time. Sigh.
Although I can definitely see and understand the allure and I thoroughly enjoy “No Reservations,” Tony is too skinny to get my juices stirring in the right direction. I not only like a man who can eat meat, but have some on his bod. Mario, on the other hand, has a bit too much — although I believe he is a genius at his craft.
I once had a friend incredibly similar to Bourdain — in physical appearance, attitude, thought process, intelligence and even the way he smoked, ate, and drank. We were best buds and loved to hang out — excellent conversations. But when coming to more serious relationship — eh — not so good.
Sounds like a great night though. I’d rather pay money to see those guys than some Hollywood star. My heart would beat faster from excitement if I saw Tony, Mario … even Andrew or other food stars if I spotted them on the street. Versus if I saw Brad Pitt or some other pretty-boy/girl Hollywood blah blah — I’d just roll my eyes and say “WhatEv”
Just recently discovered your site – so great to see another Asian sistah blogging! I love Anthony and Mario – could watch them talk about anything!
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I repeat If I said it, It’s true!