BowlHer Seattle 2009
There is nothing more scarier to me than hanging out with a group of people that I don’t know. Even more scarier is hanging out with a group of “WOMEN” that I don’t know.
As a kid, I never really got to observe the intricacies of relationships between women. I am inept. My biggest reference point to normal female relationship was being around my evil stepmother. Everyone knows that I am still cleaning up THAT mess.
Growing up I think I was a bit of a wreck when it came to dealing with girl friendships – torn between being liked and being myself. It didn’t help that I was Asian and everyone else was not. I could never quite get my coarse hair to feather the right way or get my bangs high enough. Blue eyeshadow is still my nememsis.
Since then, I’ve been a bumbling mess when it comes to being around a group of people that I don’t know. Much to people’s surprise, I am incredibly shy around new people. I just clam up and have absolutely nothing interesting or witty to say until WAY later – like two days later. Everyone always seems so much smarter and funnier and cleverer than I do.
Imagining going to event like this past weekend’s BlogHer Conference absolutely terrifies me. The thought of being around such big crowds of women makes me want to dig a hole in the ground and stick my head in it. Don’t get me wrong, I really want to go someday. And the lure of New York City in 2010 is definitely intriguing. But man, I think I’ll need to pack up the anti-anxiety pills, incense and candles in order to get through the weekend. 10 girls is one thing, but 1,600 sounds like madness.
This past Saturday, I went to a regional BowlHer party. I just barely knew a few people there. It was blazing hot over that day and I forgot to wear deodorant. This was a huge “NO-NO” especially when you are sweating already because it’s sweltering outside. I spent the whole evening thinking that my makeup was melting off my face and that I was stinky.
Happily though, everyone there was incredibly nice and for once in my life, I felt like “Wow!” I am part of a group! A group of bloggers! How awesome is that! Just the fact that I didn’t have to spend 20 minutes explaining what a blog to people that I just met was revolutionary.
This entry was posted on Thursday, July 30th, 2009 at 12:14 pm and is filed under Daily. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
11 Responses to “BowlHer Seattle 2009”
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It is so hard to be close to other women. I grew up with brothers and most of my friends have always been guys. There is little judgement around guys and they are honest and blunt. Most girls never appreciated my no BS take on life
.-= Renee´s last blog ..In Spite of the Rain =-.
I’m 40. The intricacies of the female group dynamic still escape me. And if I’m new to the group? Yikes. I stand in awe (and a little puzzlement)of the women who seem to just float right in and make themselves at home.
.-= hi kooky´s last blog ..Pictures =-.
Everything you wrote here could have been about me! Except for the stepmom part, because I don’t have a stepmom. I am so socially awkward around strangers.
.-= robyn´s last blog ..One Year Ago =-.
We had such a blast, didn’t we? You had so much great information to share, you inspire me! And boy, did we giggle!
.-= Barb Jacobucci´s last blog ..Retired At Five – Traveling With Grandma (Retirees) =-.
I know exactly what you mean about… well, just about everything. Maybe thats why I’m such a tomboy now, women make me nervous. With a guy you can where black shoes with a brown belt and he wouldn’t care. Try that in a room full of women, ha! Great post.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Wordlless Wednsday: Chichi’s Hair Today =-.
It’s great that you ended up having a good time and a sense of belonging. Not all women are scary afterall.
)
I too struggle with female relationships … always have. Place me in a room full of gals and I hardly exist (lights off). Place me in a room full of guys and I’m jabberin’, laughin’, and being sarcastically witty with the entire lot (lights on). I’ve even described myself as “genderless” before meeting the hubby. He instigated the whole “I’m female so I gotta be sexy” thang. Then after having two girls, I’ve had to reconstruct the inner girl from deep within — deeeeeep. I’m still working on it.
It’s tough being a woman … let alone getting along with a room full of them. I envy “girls’ night out” and how effortlessly many ladies can mesh together like matchy shoes and outfits. But that’s just not me and I’ve accepted it. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate women immensely and met many and know some absolutely incredible ones. I just don’t feel “natural” with them.
But … that’s okay. It really is.
First off, your hair is coarse? See, I’ve always admired Asian women’s hair. It looks so flawless to me — I don’t usually see an Asian woman with fly-aways or split ends. Then I look at my hair, and I get a bit pouty that all my efforts to make my tresses behave seem to fail. If you’re admitting to me that my outside’s view of the grass being greener is simply not true, that would totally burst my bubble. That would serve me right for making such a judgment, even if I personally thought it was a good thing.
Second, it’s always nice to connect with other socially awkward women. It always bugs me how other women somehow manage to stay dry and fresh-smelling on a blisteringly hot day, yet I perspire and stink quite quickly. I have to take drastic steps to ensure that I don’t feel like I’m offended someone’s olfactory nerves.
Did I tell you I love JenZug? Cause I do.
.-= Aimee Greeblemonkey´s last blog ..Goin’ Leprechaun Hunting =-.
I used to blame other women for making it hard for me to hang out with them. I grew up a bit, and realized that I just hadn’t been hanging around the right women for me.
When the first thing one would remark to me would be a comment about weight or height or something, I would just shut down or go on the defensive.
I’m short and scrawny, so I would get the whole “you’re so skinny! Do you shop in the children’s section? Real women have curves!”
Yeah yeah, I know, poor skinny bitch. Not what I’m trying to convey here. Trying to convey that it’s just fucking rude to say that stuff to someone. I don’t walk up to people and tell them they aren’t a “real woman” or nonsense like that. After a comment like that, I am not too keen about hanging out.
Giyen – I think we are more alike then we knew a week ago! It took all the reserves I had to show up that day. Plus my husband pushing me out the door and locking it behine me. I knew Jen Z. – that was it. I had been really hoping sn0tty would come with me for some familiarity. Anyway – I had a really good time getting to know everyone. Like Barb said – I feel like I learned so much from you. Looking foward to tonight. I’m dreading the 90 minute network thing that kicks the night off, maybe we can support each other
See you then!
.-= Jen G´s last blog ..Giving up on Green? =-.
Confidential to G: I forgot deodorant too.
.-= Natalie´s last blog ..Stomach bug =-.