The Hanes Sweatpant Incident
I don’t know about you, but I am always astounded with how much clothes my daughter accumulates over time. How many Abercrombie & Fitch henleys does one really need? Or Hollister tank tops? It’s actually quite disgusting to think about how I’ve been bamboozled out of thousands of dollars by my own flesh and blood. Damn you American Eagle for seducing my kid!!
Back in 2006, Paige and I decided against matriculating to middle school with the rest of her elementary school classmates. Instead, we ended up going out of district (yes, we are one of those families) because the thought of my daughter in a school with 1200 other students was frightening to the both of us. Unbelievably, going to a new school with an entire set of kids, families and teachers we had absolutely no familiarity with was actually less terrifying than the former.
When we embarked on this new school adventure and I had no idea what to expect. Paige however, had a very definitive ideas of what middle school was like. Mostly I think her interpretation came from a mashup of episodes of Hanna Montana and that High School Musical movie. She was determined, like most kids, to start the new year off on the right foot.
When back to school shopping commenced, Paige decided to shed her tomboy ways and reinvent herself. She bought culottes and pageboy hats. And dangly earrings. She chose to wear pink … gasp! … and pointy flats … double gasp!! She completely ignored all of my motherknowsbest pleas to “just buy a few things and then buy some more clothes when you figure out what the other kids are wearing.” Not even a “I AM NOT SPENDING ANOTHER DIME ON SCHOOL CLOTHES YOU HEAR?!?” could deter her from her mission. She was going to nail it on that first day of school.
A few weeks later Paige asked me to buy her a pair of grey Hanes sweatpants. Thinking that she needed them for sports, I did not balk at the $9.98 price tag. Clothes for soccer doesn’t count towards the “not spending another dime on school clothes” edict, right? I mean, I am supporter of sports, RIGHT?
However, much to my surprise, the next morning she wore the sweats to school with her UGG boots. Then, even to my greater surprise, the morning after that she wore THE SAME PAIR of sweats (this time with the waist rolled down) with the SAME boots. And then, just like it was Groundhog’s day or something, the morning after that she wore the same thing AGAIN! When I questioned her about why she wasn’t wearing her new school clothes she simply replied, “MOM, this is what EVERYONE is wearing.”
Like, duh.
About two more weeks into school, I realized that Paige clearly had no intentions of wearing any over her new school clothes anymore. I was forced to buy a second and third pair of sweat pants just so we could wash the original pair (which at times could stand up on their own).
And till this day, anytime she wants to spend some ungodly amount on back to school clothing, I hang those sweats over her head and say, REMEMBER?!? NINENINETYEIGHT!
This year, in the spirit of ninenightyeight we are doing something a little different. Momma’s broke. Plus, we are in a recession after all and I have learned a couple of things since the Hanes sweatpant incident. In order to supplement her clothing budget, Paige has decided to put all of the clothes that she has outgrown/doesn’t-wear up for auction on Ebay. As a result of this whole process, she and I have both had a couple of epiphanies:
Paige: Clothes aren’t clothes anymore … they are ASSETS. OMG! Someday that Gilly Hicks tank top might be worth 99 cents!
Me: I spent $68 on jeans that are now worth 99 cents and all she wears are $10 sweats.
Paige: My closet is now empty. I should fill it back up again.
Me: I can’t believe that we just emptied the closet of 70 shirts and there are still more shirts in there. I don’t even own 70 items that fit me right now.
P.S. If you want to find her auctions, you can find them here, here and here.
P.P.S. You won’t find a pair of sweats in any of her auctions because they are way too valuable to get rid of.
This entry was posted on Thursday, August 20th, 2009 at 10:35 pm and is filed under Daily. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
18 Responses to “The Hanes Sweatpant Incident”
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I’m super interested in paiges clothing but do you ship to canada?
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Drinking =-.
She has some super cute clothes, and she wants to wear sweats? Oh me, oh my… Kids these days!
.-= Krystal´s last blog ..The Thread That Keeps on Threading =-.
Holy. Crap.
When they announced they’d be doing uniforms at the middle school this year I tried to convince my darling daughter that this meant we could get rid of some of her clothes. She disagreed. Oh, well. She’ll outgrow them in another month. (But HOLY HELL, woman, that is a LOT of clothing!)
Tell Paige I said her mama is a lot nicer than I am.
.-= Mir´s last blog ..Love isn’t about what you want =-.
You know, if it wasn’t for the inherent knowledge that those shirts (and don’t even ask about the bottoms!) are way too small for my ever bulging belly, I’d be tempted to bid on at least one of the lots. I do want a couple more empire-waisted shirts to help get me through the rest of the summer in comfort. Alas, I am pregnant — and I don’t think even afterwards that I could ever fit my butt into a size 0!
And my goodness, what a collection she has! My teenage-self would have been super jealous.
Ahh, yes, the Uggs and sweats phenomenon. My sister has been complaining about this for a year or so…Paige can rest assured. The trend is BIG in Midwestern colleges.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..A Few Facts You May Not Have Known About Jackie Robinson . . . As Told by Brandon =-.
Holy Lot of Clothes, Batman! And a size 0? God Bless her. Apparently Hanes sweatpants are Rachel’s version of the cami. She has three that she lives in/sleeps in/wears out.
.-= Nicki´s last blog ..It Could’ve Been The Griswolds go to Great Wolf… =-.
Oh, good gracious! I “splurged” this summer and bought 3 new skirts so I’d have SOMETHING to wear to work! Oh, the days of parents buying your clothes.
.-= Jen L.´s last blog ..Worless Wednesday: First Day Of "School" =-.
I was laughing out loud when I read this! It brought back the mother/daughter talks of back to school shopping my mom and I had back in the day.. Good to know that mom’s are still using the line,“just buy a few things and then buy some more clothes when you figure out what the other kids are wearing.”
Thanks for the memories!
.-= Bonnie´s last blog ..Sleepless in Seattle =-.
Wow–that is a lot of clothes. Good luck with the auctions.
.-= Asianmommy´s last blog ..TV & Movie (Mandarin) =-.
Wow. I also miss my parents buying clothes. I ALWAYS felt really bad that they were spending money on me (my older sister abused it), so I would continuously say “Oh, I don’t need anything right now.”
No size 10? Too bad.
Good luck!
P.S. The UGGs/sweatpants fad was also heavily felt in WV. Still is, really… We were always a little behind. It was the stilettos/sweatpants fad that got more of a quizzical look from me, anyway.
.-= Meghan´s last blog .."City Fat" is Strictly Relative =-.
I wish these would fit, because they are precious and so cheap!
I’m doing my best to steer my girls away from the fashion bug EARLY. They’re only 8 and 5 and when shopping they are made very aware of what’s on sale and what we can afford (Thank goodness for the sales at Old Navy). And I keep on emphasizing that “what’s in” really isn’t. But then again, they’re only 8 and 5 — they don’t have a posse of hormonal fashion trend followers to compare to or feel pressured from. So I guess, what do I know????
I’m just glad that FOR NOW my girls turn their nose away from shows and characters like Hannah Montana and High School Musical (‘cuz at even age 5, other girls are soooo into those things as well as the Jonas Brothers or whoever they are). They are more interested in collecting Star Wars toys and remote controlled cars. I’ll just savor these moments for now….’cuz who knows how long that’ll last.
I hear you. We’re starint high school in two weeks with my oldest daughter and it’ll be the first time she’ll be out of a uniform for school. I’m trying to hang tough…but I too am going broke. Sigh.
That is too funny. Being a girl is high school is so incredibly hard. If 10 dollar sweats is the cure, it is good to be that girls mom!
I have been feeling that excess in my wardrobe too. I however do not fit into the Abercrombie mini me sizes, I am more of a Old Navy forgiving size L t-shirt wearer! Those shirts overflow my drawers in a ridiculous amount of waste.
.-= Meg´s last blog ..Snack and Skype =-.
You’re lucky that she’s not begging for a designer purse or else she’ll die from being THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A DESIGNER PURSE AT SCHOOL. Man, LA really sucks like that.
Oh my god, don’t get me started…kids and their damn clothes. Hilarious post, by the way!!
.-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Adolescence Redux =-.
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