Under Water
Under Water
The Perfect Storm
Murphy’s Law
Hoo-boy did I get a flood of emails and phone calls from people I know in real life to say, “SHUT UP. YOU CANNOT WRITE SOMETHING ALL OMINOUS LIKE THAT AND NOT TELL ME WTF IS GOING ON!”
And they are, of course, right. I just reread my last post and Jesus, I feel pity on myself!
So, without going into a whole flood of details about my financial affairs, I have made the decision to cut my losses and put my house on the market. You see, I am in a bit of a pickle because the small bathroom leak turned out to be a MAJOR BIG DEAL and I can’t afford the repairs because, well, remember this past year’s pursuit to become a writer? Uh, yeah – I didn’t live off of nothing. I had a bit of money saved and then subsequently lived off of it. And now it is mostly gone.
Normally, I would try to leverage my house in order to get a loan but according to my real estate agent (who is incredibly nice and helpful), I am officially under water on my mortgage … the house down the street that looks identical to mine sold for $180,000. I did the math and it is about 30% less than what I paid for my house 4 YEARS AGO. So at the suggestion of some financial advisers, I am attempting to short sell my house. And honestly, even if I could afford to the repairs, there’s something that just feels wrong about sinking thousands more into a house that has already significantly decreased in value. It seems ridiculous and absurd to me right now. I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth fighting for.
If it sounds like I am trying to be a victim, it’s not the intent. If anything, I feel a victim of my own bad judgment. That is the worst feeling ever. Believe me, I have run through the litany of things I could have done better. I could have lived more frugally or saved more money. I could have lived within my means more often than not. Or I could have went on to do something I felt passionate about – like taking a vacation to Europe instead of buying a house. BELIEVE ME, I’ve run through all of the scenarios.
And to top it off, in my neurotic self-analysis phase of the last several months, I came to the (very hard) conclusion that most of the decisions that I have made for myself in my adult life are based on doing what is right for other people or doing what other people think I should do. I know! How PSYCH101 of me! But seriously, when it comes to down to it, I have never really acted in a way that spoke to who I was or want to be. The resulting effect? Many, many things that have not turned out very well. This house debacle being a perfect example.
Really, I’ve been stewing on this for a while.
Happily though, the decisions that I have made around the things that I am most passionate about – this blog being a perfect example – have turned out just lovely. By the way, thank you for your nice comments and emails. You’ve truly made me feel better.
In the next couple of weeks, I’ll be spending a lot of time reflecting on this quote from Oprah’s Stanford University commencement speech:
“And what I’ve found is that difficulties come when you don’t pay attention to life’s whisper, because life always whispers to you first. And if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you’ll get a scream. Whatever you resist persists. But, if you ask the right question—not why is this happening, but what is this here to teach me?—it puts you in the place and space to get the lesson you need.”
And for you Oprah-haters, I will also be reflecting on this sports euphemism too:
“It is what it is.”
This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 at 9:43 pm and is filed under C-c-changes, Daily. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
We feel ya.We paid 147k for our condo, and the one next to us that has sat enpty for 3 years just sold for 45k….
OUCH…
Follow your heart, you know whats best for you and Paige.
Good luck!
Krystal´s last blog ..Dear Mr. Sandman
I know it can be heartbreaking to move on (I still miss thehouse I grew up in and drive by it sometimes), but just think of all your NEW options!
I wish you the best in selling the house…
I feel your pain and I echo it. I did everything I could to save the house after the divorce. Recently, I’ve had to give up the fight and accept that not everything can be saved. It hurts, but letting go has left one less thing for me to worry about.
I wish you the best. You’re not alone.
Nicki´s last blog ..Hotlanta, I miss you!
You are not alone. A friend of mine just sold her house and now has to pay back a $38K loan. My heart breaks for her.
Take care.
Diane Fit to the Finish´s last blog ..Say Yes When You Want To Say No
That completely sucks. I’m thinking happy thoughts for you during this difficult time.
Oh, how I feel for you!! My husband and I are struggling just to make our mortgage payment every month (he is out of a job) and we are literally screwed–can’t sell the house because it isn’t worth what we paid for it, but we can barely afford the payment each month. TOTALLY. SUCKS. Just know that you are not the only one dealing with this situation–millions are in the same boat. Hang in there, I’m sending good-luck thoughts your way!!
Amy Murray´s last blog ..Because admitting you have a problem is the first step
I stumbled across your blog a few weeks ago and think it’s brilliant. Hang in there and thanks for sharing your stories.
Meichihko´s last blog ..Hooray for Hang Tags!
I seriously wish you the best. As someone who also struggles with making the right choices for myself when it comes to finances, instead of the one that pleases others, I know the battle.
You can do it. That’s my only advice.
Because it’s true.
Accidental Olympian´s last blog ..I TOTALLY LIED
Sweet lady, I am sorry this is happening to you. For what it is worth, I’ve been inspired by your bravery this year, and you should know we’re all pulling for you.
MOAm´s last blog ..I am the Decider
Hard times yo, I think you’re doing the right thing!
My mom’s been thinking she might need to sell as well.. sometimes it’s better to cut the losses and rock out
Desiree Fawn´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday (Just The Three Of Us)
Good for you for taking these steps. I own and have never been happy about it. Studies say that renters are happier and have less stress. Your courage and honesty will be rewarded.
Marguerite´s last blog ..Good samaritans
Kudos to you for following your passion. I know what it is like to live your life being/doing what others expect. I’m not a Stepford Wife or anything, I have a very nice life. It’s just that I took a look a few years ago and I realized, while I have a lot, “I” am missing. It’s very difficult to give up things we have worked hard for to get what we really need to feel complete. I look forward to watching from the sidelines. Perhaps you will be the inspiration I need to take that same leap of faith in myself
So many of us are guilty of doing what is right for other people or what other people think we should do. Although it’s a tough situation that you are in, it’s great to hear that you are following your GUT.
And I love the Oprah-ism. “If you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you’ll get a scream.”
~ humps
humpsNbump´s last blog ..Dear Belly Fat
I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this. I hope things will turn around for you.
Asianmommy´s last blog ..Little Pim–Find out all about it in Asianmommy Reviews!
I really admire your strength and courage.
Kelly´s last blog ..Time
thank you so much for writing this. i am in the throes of economic turmoil and finally taking responsibility for some bad decisions from about five years ago. money is so freaking difficult to talk about, but this economic crisis has made us realize our individual/national identity crisis. you are so strong to pursue your passions and raise an amazing young woman. i’m holding my arms out to you as a young mother and fellow financial misstepper. we will be fine.
Oh, honey, I”m so sorry to hear this. Sending love and good wishes to you and Paige.
Jen L.´s last blog ..Comfort Food Saturday: Texas Sheet Cake
Not an Oprah fan, but I like what she said.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com
Twitter: AboutParenting
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I hope that you find peace, joy and freedom in your decision.
I think sometimes it takes more strength to say, “this isn’t working for me,” and get out, than it does to hang on longer to a situation that is getting too deep.
Renee´s last blog ..Reflections – August 2009
When I was sixteen, something similar happened to me and my mom, and as a result we had to give up on our house and start renting. It actually turned out to be better for both of us, and so much less stressful my mom. I hope everything turns out well for you and Paige. Sometimes things like this happen, and no matter what you would have done, things would have turned out the same. Good luck!
Damn it! I hate change!! I am sending good Karma and prayers your way.
Jasmine´s last blog ..Conversations Between Friends
What a tough thing to do. It’s hard to ‘count our blessings’ so to speak when crap like this is in our everyday lives. Best of luck, hopefully it will sell quickly and painlessly!!!