Bourbon Fail

The other day, one of my best friends and I sat down after work to kvetch about the things that were going on in our lives. Generally libations are in order whenever the two of us are together and that day was no exception. After a plate of french fries, 4 shots of bourbon and some serious girl talk – it was time to get moseying home. Tragically, I came to the realization that home was not around the corner anymore. It’s not even down the street or a cab ride away. Getting home meant getting on a bus, then on a ferry and then on a bus again. While inebriated.

While traveling on the first bus home bound, it dawned on me that I had no idea how this was going to work. Apparently, the last bus of the evening left the dock at 9:05 pm. This was 10 minutes before my ferry was scheduled to arrive on Vashon.  That’s it. If you don’t catch the 9:05 bus into town you are S.O.L. You are hitching a ride into town. Or (gasp!) walking.

Paranoid with the prospects of a long, sobering walk home in the rain, I started scoping out potential rides home. Who could I ask for a ride home? Who would I get into a car with? Who would let me in their car? Obviously, unaware of my condition, I started fishing for rides:

Me:  Do you know if the bus waits for the ferry to arrive before leaving? I don’t want to miss the bus.

Person # 1:  The bus should be there. They generally wait for this ferry because it’s the last route. You should be fine.

Me:  Really? Because if I don’t catch the bus, I will have to walk to town and it’s REALLY FUCKING COLD out there.

Person # 1:  Really, you will be fine.

Clearly, they weren’t going to give me a ride so I moved on to Person # 2:

Me:  Do you know if the bus waits for the ferry to arrive before leaving? I don’t want to miss the bus because I don’t have a ride.

Person # 2:  You should be fine. I am taking the bus into town too.

Me:   ARE YOU SURE? Cause I can’t imagine walking in this weather.

Person # 2:  You won’t have to. The bus always waits.

Me:  But it’s 9:10 right now and the bus should have left 5 minutes ago.

Person # 2: REALLY. You will be fine.

**AWKWARD SILENCE**

At this point, I realize I am drunk. And LOUD. Person # 1 and #2 are actually within earshot of each other. In fact, they are sitting in booths that are adjacent to each other and can hear me ask the other one the exact same question. In fact, in hindsight I have no doubt the whole front of ferry can hear me. And I, well I look like (a) the woman who has short term memory issues or (b) the crazy drunk lady. THE REALLY LOUD crazy drunk lady.

You would think that this realization would stop me from asking a third person but NOOOOOOO. No matter how much I tried to suppress the feeling of panic, the thought of walking on a dark highway with rabid deer out there was enough to keep me searching for a ride into town. I did have enough wherewithal to go at least TWO booths away from the last person, though.

Me:  Do you know if the bus waits for the ferry to arrive before leaving? I don’t want to miss the bus because I don’t have a ride.

Person # 3: I DON’T KNOW. I am riding my bike. [Clearly annoyed because I am sure that two booths away was still not far enough away.]

Me:  You are going to bike in this? WOW! So you aren’t driving? I don’t have a ride.

Person # 3:  Yes, I heard.

Me:  I am new on the island and haven’t quite mastered the ferry/bus schedules.

Person # 3:  It sounds like the bus will be waiting for this ferry.

Me:  That’s what I hear too!

Person # 3:  Listen. I am sure the bus will be there. It usually waits. BUT if it doesn’t, I will ride my bike home and then get in my car, turn around to pick you up and then drive you home. How does that sound?

Me:  REALLY?!? That’s so nice of you!

Person # 3:  It’s fine.

Me:  Look at me! I should really introduce myself. I’m Giyen.

Person # 3:  I’m Kim.

Me:  NO WAY! MY LAST NAME IS KIM!!!! This is kismet!

At that point, the ferry docks and I start walking towards the exit. And sure enough, the bus is waiting right there just like everyone said it would be. And in my joy,  I start waving at the folks that I’ve just talked with – pointing to the bus and waving with a “Yep! You were right!” look on my face.

I promise you, I can’t help myself, at this point.

It wasn’t till later that I realize that my new friend Kim already knew the bus was going to be there. She just promised to give me a ride home because she knew would never have to fulfill the promise – BECAUSE THE BUS ALWAYS WAITS FOR THE 8:55 FERRY. Apparently it’s the last ferry of the night and silly drunk people (like me) need to get home somehow.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 3:25 pm and is filed under Daily. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

12 Responses to “Bourbon Fail”

  1. heeheehahahhohohahahahaha! I’m just giggling and laughing myself silly here. OMG, that is THE funniest story I’ve heard in a while. hahahahahahaha!! omg, stitches..in…my..side…hahahahahaha…oooohkay. whew whew. no wait, hahahahahahaa!!!!! Oh man, I love reading your blog.
    .-= ChantaleP´s last blog ..look of the day_milk =-.

  2. This is possibly the funniest post you have ever written–straight out of an episode of Friends. It also kind of reminds me of something that Bridget Jones would do ;D.

  3. I can’t help but to think of Charlotte from Sex and The City riding the fairy home trashed.

    I feel like your move to an island is like one of those really deep movies that makes you think about life. There are nights that I don’t get off of work until way after 9:00PM, so the idea of having a 9:00PM curfew is so enchanting to me.
    .-= Renee´s last blog ..Maturity Seeps Through Our Pores =-.

  4. Oh bless you. Just so you know, I would’ve given you a ride. Or let you sleep on my couch. Whatever you needed, kid.
    .-= Chookooloonks´s last blog ..where i spent my formative years =-.

  5. Oh gosh. I nearly peed myself laughing at this post. You are too freaking hilarious.

    ~ humps
    .-= humpsNbump´s last blog ..A Lifetime of Yelling, "Don’t Touch That!" =-.

  6. AB – with stories like that I’m going to love your new island life!

  7. Glad to hear a thriller story with a happy ending.
    .-= Nurit -1 Family. Friendly. Food.´s last blog ..Happy: Counting my blessings =-.

  8. You are a trip! I’m loving your island life tales.
    .-= Nicki´s last blog ..March of Dimes…Premie Awareness Month… =-.

  9. Now that’s funny!

  10. It's All in the Mindsays:

    okay … this wins “my favorite Giyen blog exerpt” award. I’m very visual so my brain automatically “saw” all of this happening as you described and I was laughing outloud! Sigh, if only I was there to record it all.

  11. i just laughed for like 10 minutes straight.

    definitely one of my most fav posts you’ve written.

    (sidenote: i do the same thing on bumpy plane rides, even when i’m not drunk. i ask the 5 or 6 people within earshot if we’re going to die until i find the answer i like.)

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