Archive for June, 2010
« Older Entries |
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
I used to think that Paige was just perfect between the ages of 7 and 10. I fondly look back and call that time period “The Golden Years” for the following reasons:
- She thought that I knew everything and reveled in awe about how smart I was.
- We started having adorable 2-way conversations about abstract topics like religion – Me: Do you believe in God? Paige: No, I believe in Gods.
- She started telling silly jokes and thought that she was H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S (therefore she was hilarious).
- I could sew her a wizard’s cloak and she thought I was magic.
- She still let me hold her hand.
After the age of 10, Paige started to turn on me. She started making me do things like go to Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister and Gilly Hicks all in one day (which is just cruel). She ran up my phone bill by sending something like 15,000 text messages in one month (this really happened). She started spending all of her free time on an island and not with me (and now I live on that same island just so I could spend more time with her). She stopped holding my hand (even when no one was looking). Obviously, this was all very traumatic for me.
Lately though, I have started to think that we’ve hit another magical period in our relationship. I thought this wouldn’t happen again for a long while – especially after a series of meltdowns and those four dark, dark months where every sentence started with, “I MOVED TO THIS ISLAND FOR YOU ….” Just the other day as we were walking next to each other she threw her arm around my shoulders and said, “I am taller than you.” My point is, she actually made physical contact with me – in public even!
I’ll try not to hope for such a radical shift in mother/daughter dynamics. I don’t expect that I will stop using the “I moved to this island for you …” line anytime soon (I’ve gotten too attached to the phrase). But who knows what will happen tomorrow – I may just get a hug.
Posted in Daily, Parenting | 11 Comments »
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
I am the world’s worst networker. When I go to an event, I usually find one person I want to meet and then decide to be friends with them. I realize the whole point of networking is to meet a succession of people, but that’s just not who I am. I am old fashioned. I want to get to know who you are and what you are all about. This is a very inefficient way to network, especially if you have any hope of rapidly expanding your circle of friends.
Last weekend, while at Kurtwood Farms I was introduced to a man named Tom Conway. I instantly knew that I wanted to get to know him better so naturally, I invited myself over to his house. Not only that, but I invited Caedmon over as well. This is my way, I don’t have time to waste being coy. I have to assert myself otherwise I won’t ever leave my house. “Let’s be friends,” I’ll say.
Tom invited us over on Sunday evening, after I was finished spending the afternoon with Eloise and Jacob. As Matt was picking the kids up, he asked about my impending visit with Tom:
Matt: So you are going to Tom’s house?
Me: Yes, I am excited.
Matt: What are you going to bring?
Me: What do you mean?
Matt: Are you going over for dinner?
Me: No, we are just going over for a visit.
Matt: You’re not going to bring anything?
Me: As a matter of fact, I am bringing a pie.
Matt: A pie? That better be a damn good pie. Tom is known for making pies.
Me: What are you trying to say? You think I am going to bring a shitty pie over?
Matt: Just sayin. He makes REALLY GOOD PIE.
Me: Why would you say that?
When I got home, I started to get pie anxiety. I realized that perhaps my moment of brilliance at the grocery store – using a frozen pie shell – didn’t seem so brilliant after all. Poor frozen Marie Callender pie shell seemed woefully inadequate, embarrassing even. I would be judged on this pie. This pie would determine if we could be friends. All I could hear in my head was, “THAT BETTER BE A DAMN GOOD PIE.”
Consumed by doubt, I scolded myself for not making homemade pie crust. Then I went into panic mode about what I was going to make. I definitely would not be baking a fucking pie and I definitely was not going to go empty handed. I looked in my cupboard and fridge and only had one choice: homemade ice cream sandwiches made with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. You can only imagine the flurry that ensued.
The ice cream sandwiches were awesome. Tom was awesome and couldn’t have cared if we had pie or ice cream sandwiches. I went into anxiety mode for nothing.
Damn you, Matt.
Posted in Daily | 8 Comments »
Monday, June 28th, 2010
There are times in my life when I think I should have had another child. However, as a 20 something single mother it never seemed like an opportune time. I was young, selfish and immature – barely able to support the child that I had. Then 20 came and went. Then 22. And 25. And 27.
“Would it seem weird to have a 7 year old and a baby?” I would ask myself. Yes, it would seem weird. I was just settling into who I was again and the thought of going through the midnight feedings and diapers was unbearable. I finally decided that 30 was the cut off age. If I didn’t have another child at that point, then it wasn’t going to happen for me. Year 30 flew past me. As did 33, 34 and 35. Paige is almost 16 and I am now 36.
From time to time I feel a bit of remorse over not having the second, especially since Paige is so good with other kids younger than she. I would have loved to see her be a big sister to some lucky sibling, but it wasn’t in the cards for us. My life is on a different trajectory. Plus, at 36 I know myself better. I wouldn’t have been able to hack having the second child. I am still a bit selfish and immature. I don’t do well when I am outnumbered.
These are the freshly painted fingers and toes of Eloise. She and her brother Jacob spent the afternoon with us while their parents, Matt and Mary, had an anniversary brunch in Seattle.
At one point in the afternoon, Jacob woke from his nap and realized that he wasn’t nestled in the security of his own home. Understandably, he was quite verklempt over the notion that there was some round faced Asian woman trying to comfort him instead of his parents. This would freak me out too.
He was hungry and crying so I ended up making lunch with him balanced on my hip with one arm free to stir, pour and plate our meal of Annie’s Mac and Cheese. It wasn’t easy for me. I even had Paige in the other room keeping Eloise company so it wasn’t like I was by myself. I thought about Mary cooking for these two young kids day after day and it made me tired. I don’t think I could have managed it. For two hours, yes. For two days even. But everyday? I don’t think so. Oh God. No way.
Hat’s off to all of you who are outnumbered by your kids.
Posted in Daily, Parenting | 14 Comments »
Next Page »
, 
