An Interview with Miss Paige
In follow up to my recent post about teens and cell phone use, here’s the transcript of my interview with Paige using some questions that ya’ll asked me to ask her.
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M: What do you think are some good rules for kids to follow regarding safe cell phone usage?
P: Don’t talk to anyone that you don’t know. Don’t give away too much personal information. Don’t tell things that may be harmful to other people’s feelings.
M: How does that compare to my rules?
P: They are pretty down.
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M: What do you considered sexting?
P: When people send pictures of themselves or talk dirty over the cell phone.
M: Why do you think people do that?
P: Because they are bored.
M: Have you ever sexted?
P: Mom, I don’t even text much anymore.
M: You didn’t answer the question.
P: Mom, I have never sexted before.
M: Don’t ever send naked pictures of yourself. That stuff lasts forever! You never know what people could use it for.
P: Believe me, I know.
M: Do you know people who have send naked pictures of themselves?
P: Yes.
M: Do you know if they regretted it?
P: I don’t know.
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M: Do you think you got a cell phone at the right age? (6th grade)
P: I think I was a little old.
M: YOU WERE A LITTLE OLD? Are you SERIOUS?
P: Actually, maybe no.
M: Looking back, I don’t think you were mature enough to handle a cell phone.
P: Yes I was.
M: Then why did I have to keep paying overages on cell phone use? You were not able to handle to rules and instead made me pay hundreds of dollars in overage fees until I got an unlimited plan.
P: Nuh-uh.
M: I am still a little bitter about it.
M: Don’t you think that I was clear with you?
P: Yes, but you were too strict.
M: Don’t you think 20,000 text messages in a month is a little excessive? Can you imagine spending that much time text messaging now?
P: No … I just had no life.
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M: Why do you prefer text messaging over phone calls?
P: Because, it’s more casual. Actually, I kind of like phone calls now.
M: You do? Interesting, why?
P: Because it’s quicker. If I have to say something or have a conversation.
M: You never call me though.
P: You never pick up the phone when I call. Sometimes I have to call you TWO THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
M: SORRY, I don’t have the luxury of hanging out next to the phone waiting for you to call when I am at work.
P: That’s why I text you.
M: Okay, that makes sense.
P: EXACTLY. it makes perfect sense.
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M: Have you ever had an argument over text messaging?
P: OOOHHHH YEEEESSSS.
M: Oh yes? It sounds like you have a lot of experience.
P: Oh the drama!!
M: Do you do that anymore.
P: No?
M: What changed?
P: I am a different person and I am not wrapped into the drama anymore. I don’t really text anymore.
M: What is the worst argument you’ve had with someone over texting?
P: Probably bitching someone out for getting with my boyfriend.
M: Really? That’s even a bigger argument than some of the arguments you had with your exboyfriend?
P: He and I didn’t really fight over text message. But the other boyfriend and I did.
M: Do you ever regret anything you have ever said over text?
P: I don’t really care. I don’t regret anything.
M: Wow.
P: It takes too much time to regret things.
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M: How long can you go without texting?
P: Probably a couple of days.
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M: Have you ever used your cell phone to cheat in class?
P: It’s too hard to cheat in class. You get all sketched out. Plus, the teachers are much better at noticing texting in class now.
M: You think so? What about your friend that tried to do it?
P: Well, we were in the cafeteria that day. That’s probably why.
M: How popular is cheating via text messaging?
P: Probably not as popular as the old fashioned way …
M: What is the old fashioned way?
P: The whole looking over people’s shoulders and stuff.
P: Cameras are used though. Some people take pictures of tests and send them around.
M: REALLY? So people can get a preview of the contents of the test?!?! That’s clever.
P: Yes. There are some high quality cell phones out there. But that’s just what I’ve heard …
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M: What do you think of parents who don’t give their kids a lot of unlimited text messaging?
P: Depends on the person and whether they wanted to text a lot. It’s up to the parents to make sure the kids don’t go over?
M: WHAT?
P: Now that I think of it, you could probably lower our text message plan.
M: No it’s fine, we are on an unlimited family plan.
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M: Do you ever write with (on paper) LOL SPEAK?
P: WHAT?
M: Do you ever find yourself writing in text message shorthand for a report?
P: FOR A REPORT?
M: Yes, like if you were writing a report for school.
P: Only ‘cuz. ‘Cuz it’s so much shorter than ‘because.’
M: Do you ever get in trouble for that?
P: I only do it on notes or things aren’t getting graded.
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M: Do you think that a 5th grader needs a smart phone?
P: No. They just need the basics. Smart phones should not be for anyone younger than a 7th grader. But it really depends on the person. If the person was an electronic person …
M: Why would you desire a smart phone?
P: I don’t know, because they are pretty. I mean, I am really fine with what I have.
M: Would you go on Facebook if you had one of those phones?
P: No, because I really don’t like Facebook. I think FB is like a big, terrible piece of website.
M: It’s a waste of time.
P: IT’S A WASTE OF TIME.
M: So many of your friends are on FB …
P: For stalking. FB is just for stalking.
M: Don’t you think that’s kind of weird?
P: It’s better for you to know someone in person than pretend to know them with what you see on FB.
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M: Do you hear a lot of cell phone interruptions during class?
P: I do sometimes, but most people don’t use them in class.
M: Do they get in trouble?
P: No, then just turn it to silent.
M: Do you think cell phones should be banned?
P: They are technically banned, but nobody listens. They still bring their phones in.
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M: Do you have extra strong thumb muscles?
P: Yes, but they’ve really are much weaker now that I don’t text message as much.
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M: Anything else you’d like to tell parents out there?
P: Don’t take away a kid’s cell phone for punishment because it’s just really annoying. It just makes kids mad at you. Make kids do hard labor or something.
M: But that’s why parents take the cell phone away from kids, because it annoys them.
P: You should make kids do hard labor instead. Why would you want to annoy your kids?
M: I think I am going to keep with my punishment strategy. Or I will incorporate both.
P: You would.
M: You know, in the continuum of parenting, I don’t think I am the strictest parent out there.
P: MOOMM. I AM SIXTEEN YEARS OLD AND STILL HAVE A BED TIME. YOU MAKE ME GO TO BED AT 9:30 ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. NO ONE ELSE HAS A BEDTIME.
M: Now that you bring this up, it’s 9:39, so it past your bedtime. We’ll leave our interview here.
Please note: This is a compensated post.
Later this month, as part of a campaign sponsored by LG and BlogHer, I will be interviewing Paige and hopefully a few of her friends about texting, sexting and of course, safety around cell use. And to top it off, because this topic is so important for our kids and their futures, BlogHer will match LG’s donation of .50 to Dosomething.org for every comment on this post. This means Dosomething.org will get a $1.00 for each and every one. Now get to it. What are you waiting for.
Being a parent today seems so hard. I can’t imagine what you must do/have done regarding her internet usage. You are a great mom and a great writer. Keep it up!
Very cool. I loved the moments where she was trying to pull the wool over your eyes. It reminded me of all the times I lied to my mom, thinking I was getting away with it. How foolish to think I could ever deceive her. She even told me that I was no good at it, yet I continued to try and try…
Paige is a true politician though, working to appease the adult mind with one hand and justify her actions with the other.
Matt Lawrence´s last [type] ..A New Home
I’m fascinated by Paige’s disdain for facebook given its explosive popularity in the adult world over the past year.
Keenie Beanie´s last [type] ..Amongst my Favorite Things- Sonic Scrubber
Awesome! Let her know that this budding English consultant and tutor is proud to know at least some of our youth still value the written word.
Here’s to the Mom’s of the world, they’re all a hell of lot tougher than I am.
Tom @ Tall Clover Farm´s last [type] ..Happiness Is a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree
I love this. Thank you. I’m totally printing this out and putting it somewhere for when Alex is Paige’s age.
Of course, when Alex is Paige’s age, they’ll probably just being embedding phone chips behind the ear, or something.
*sigh*
K.
Karen from Chookooloonks´s last [type] ..photovent 2010- day 24- give
Back in myyyy day, we built up our thumb muscles! None of this predictive text, T9, swype business. Cool idea about the pictures of tests though. Kids are so innovative. **Ahem** But it’s wrong! Very wrong! (But so clever.)
love it! you had a longer conversation with her than i have had in years with my teen!!
it is already SO different growing up now that our generation.
how can that be?
we aren’t that old?
good talk. and good bedtime. good for you! go mom!
meg duerksen´s last [type] ..hockey and donuts
that’s a way to get your lurkers out…
you don’t sound too strict. Paige will thank you when she’s older.
And I can’t see why they should need Smart phones that young. I have one for work and don’t even use it that much. Or maybe I’m just old…
Interesting conversation with Paige. My daughter is in 3rd grade & I think 6th grade is a reasonable time to let her have a cell phone. But I’d probably get her one that only allows calls to her parents, grandparents, or 911.
Asianmommy´s last [type] ..Merry Christmas Mandarin
I’m really divided on cell phones for kids. I mean, I kind of feel like I can’t knock the idea too much since my husband and I don’t keep a land-line. I DO think it’s unreasonable for a kid not to have access to a phone at all, but I’m not too keen having a house phone. And while I certainly don’t want my kids tying up MY cell phone with calling their friends, I’m not a big fan of the idea of giving my kids a cell phone, either. So, I don’t know which way I should go with this, when the time comes.
I’m less concerned with rules regarding cell phone use – for example, I wouldn’t get them a smart phone, anyway, or even a phone with a camera (although, in a few years, when my kids are old enough for phones, will there even be any camera-less phones on the market?). I’d probably opt for unlimited texting if they couldn’t rein it in, though. BUT, I don’t think they need to have phones with them at school and that would be one of my biggest rules – not taking it to school (until they start driving, then….maybe), as much as I know my kids will probably hate me for it.
Also, I see “sixth grade” repeated a couple of times in this post and comments, and I have to wonder if I’m a little backward in thinking that that’s too young…? I was thinking more along the lines of not getting my kids phones until high school. As much as this is a big financial issue for me (this and driving – I can’t imagine paying for that many cell phones and cars!), what with four kids who are all close in age, I also want my kids to be a little more…I don’t know, unplugged, I guess.
What I worry about most with the whole cell phone issue is keeping my kids balanced, fostering interests in experiences outside of the virtual world. I don’t want my kids to learn to be dependent on tech devices. I already feel like they’re too computer/video-game oriented. I was raised with pretty strict rules and I think I’d prefer to keep some things more on the conservative side. My parents monitored what tv shows and movies I could watch well into high school. I had time limits on internet usage (which we didn’t even have until I was 14). My parents got me a cell phone when I was a senior in high school, but it was very strictly reserved for emergency use only. I don’t even remember ever using it.
I don’t mean to be as restricting with my kids as that, but you see where I’m coming from. I find it difficult to reconcile more liberal parenting with that kind of upbringing.
CraezieLady´s last [type] ..Happy Holidays From Ethan Hawke!
9:30 really?
anyways it was very entertaining to read, the dynamic of the 16 year old mind
My favorite’s gotta be, “it takes too much time to regret things.” CLASSIC! If only I can absorb THAT into my psyche.
Sixth grade does sound a bit young to have a cell phone … but then again, it’s a different era we’re living in. So far, my 4th grader hasn’t shown any interest. I think I have other issues to address esp. when she’s telling me “jokes” like, “Momma, what’s the one thing that all males have in common?” “Uh, I don’t know, what do all males have in common?” … pause and giggle, “Their ding-ding.” Geesh … the major talks will be tackled soon.
Personally, I don’t like texting and we don’t take part. The entire thing is thoroughly annoying. If something needs to be addressed, pick up the phone and SPEAK IT. We’ve survived without texting before and we can still survive now. I have a friend whose daughter will only communicate with her via texting (while the mom’s in the kitchen with the daughter in her bedroom IN THE SAME HOUSE, mind you). Needless to say, their relationship is lacking. I can’t help but think if she got rid of her daughter’s text rights that maybe they would start speaking to one another again. But poor communication doesn’t seem to be the case b/n you and Paige. You guys seem to have a relationship that she may occasionally roll her eyes at now, but will absolutely, entirely love you when she’s older.
I’ll try to think of some text questions.
A friend of mine just got his 10-year a cell phone. It’s just a basic phone with prepaid minutes on it, but I was like, “Wow!”. He’s a pretty mature kid, though, and he does a lot of traveling around for a kid (two families and all).
I think the important thing is, that since he’s surrounded by grown-ups with cell-phones, he’s only got like 1 phone number memorized. I’m pretty sure by his age, I had at least 5 phone numbers memorized–Mom, Mom Work, G-ma, and stuff like that. 2 years later, around 7th grade, I’m sure I had about a bazillion of my friends’ numbers memorized, and he’ll probably never have to do that. All the emergency numbers were immediately programmed into his phone the moment he opened it, and he may never memorize them.
Yeah, what Kelli said just reminded of the fact that it may become a necessity to get my step-son a cell phone at some point in the future, as he does go over to his mom’s house occasionally and we just don’t…care much for her parenting style. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind him having one at her house NOW, just in case a situation arises in which he needs to contact us. BUT he doesn’t go over there very often any more, so hopefully that pattern will remain. In any case, I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that, because then we will have to get phones for all the rest of ‘em
Anyhow…that just popped into my head!
CraezieLady´s last [type] ..Happy Holidays From Ethan Hawke!
I grew up with pagers and AIM. All this FB and texting makes me freak out sometimes. And it’s good to know that Paige isn’t all FB crazy, like there is one sane teenager out there in this world.
Great topic!
My kids are too young for cell phones, but talking to my sister who is a high school teacher has been really eye opening! I had no idea how dependent on phones the average teen has become. I mean, I know I’m addicted, but I didn’t realize how far it had gone.
It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.
Crazy how kids live life so differently. I didn’t get a cellphone till I was in college!
I learned too late how damaging texting is. My daughter’s first boyfriend at the end of her junior year was extremely abusive by text. He texted her at all hours of the day and night. He picked fights via text. This added to him alienating her from her friends, activities and he eventually tried to break her from her family. Texting played a HUGE part in his abuse. Pay the $5 a month and put restrictions on the number of texts, and especially the time of day they can text (block nights and school hours). Watch the phone records. Part of his deal was keeping her up all night which really wore her down. She was totally sleep deprived. Basically adding texting to the classic domestic abuse model is a nightmare.
Three months into their relationship when I found a picture of his junk on her phone, I called his mom to let her know what was going on and asked her to see what was on his phone she declined to help saying it was “his phone”. My daughter was 17, he was 16. Some texts I saw were along the lines of him accusing her dad of harassing his mother at a bar (they were at a bar at the same time to watch a band but her dad didn’t even know what his mom looked like). He texted her that her family didn’t love her, her mom (me) was didn’t love her. He picked a fight with her via text before her SAT’s and all other important events and family activities so she would be sleep deprived and miserable.
When we took her cell phone away he bought her a Virgin mobile with unlimited texting for $20. It was a nightmare.
Anyway, texting can be another, way for people to abuse each other. Check out loveisnotabuse.org.