Thursday, December 23rd, 2010
In follow up to my recent post about teens and cell phone use, here’s the transcript of my interview with Paige using some questions that ya’ll asked me to ask her.
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M: What do you think are some good rules for kids to follow regarding safe cell phone usage?
P: Don’t talk to anyone that you don’t know. Don’t give away too much personal information. Don’t tell things that may be harmful to other people’s feelings.
M: How does that compare to my rules?
P: They are pretty down.
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M: What do you considered sexting?
P: When people send pictures of themselves or talk dirty over the cell phone.
M: Why do you think people do that?
P: Because they are bored.
M: Have you ever sexted?
P: Mom, I don’t even text much anymore.
M: You didn’t answer the question.
P: Mom, I have never sexted before.
M: Don’t ever send naked pictures of yourself. That stuff lasts forever! You never know what people could use it for.
P: Believe me, I know.
M: Do you know people who have send naked pictures of themselves?
P: Yes.
M: Do you know if they regretted it?
P: I don’t know.
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M: Do you think you got a cell phone at the right age? (6th grade)
P: I think I was a little old.
M: YOU WERE A LITTLE OLD? Are you SERIOUS?
P: Actually, maybe no.
M: Looking back, I don’t think you were mature enough to handle a cell phone.
P: Yes I was.
M: Then why did I have to keep paying overages on cell phone use? You were not able to handle to rules and instead made me pay hundreds of dollars in overage fees until I got an unlimited plan.
P: Nuh-uh.
M: I am still a little bitter about it.
M: Don’t you think that I was clear with you?
P: Yes, but you were too strict.
M: Don’t you think 20,000 text messages in a month is a little excessive? Can you imagine spending that much time text messaging now?
P: No … I just had no life.
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M: Why do you prefer text messaging over phone calls?
P: Because, it’s more casual. Actually, I kind of like phone calls now.
M: You do? Interesting, why?
P: Because it’s quicker. If I have to say something or have a conversation.
M: You never call me though.
P: You never pick up the phone when I call. Sometimes I have to call you TWO THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
M: SORRY, I don’t have the luxury of hanging out next to the phone waiting for you to call when I am at work.
P: That’s why I text you.
M: Okay, that makes sense.
P: EXACTLY. it makes perfect sense.
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M: Have you ever had an argument over text messaging?
P: OOOHHHH YEEEESSSS.
M: Oh yes? It sounds like you have a lot of experience.
P: Oh the drama!!
M: Do you do that anymore.
P: No?
M: What changed?
P: I am a different person and I am not wrapped into the drama anymore. I don’t really text anymore.
M: What is the worst argument you’ve had with someone over texting?
P: Probably bitching someone out for getting with my boyfriend.
M: Really? That’s even a bigger argument than some of the arguments you had with your exboyfriend?
P: He and I didn’t really fight over text message. But the other boyfriend and I did.
M: Do you ever regret anything you have ever said over text?
P: I don’t really care. I don’t regret anything.
M: Wow.
P: It takes too much time to regret things.
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M: How long can you go without texting?
P: Probably a couple of days.
—-
M: Have you ever used your cell phone to cheat in class?
P: It’s too hard to cheat in class. You get all sketched out. Plus, the teachers are much better at noticing texting in class now.
M: You think so? What about your friend that tried to do it?
P: Well, we were in the cafeteria that day. That’s probably why.
M: How popular is cheating via text messaging?
P: Probably not as popular as the old fashioned way …
M: What is the old fashioned way?
P: The whole looking over people’s shoulders and stuff.
P: Cameras are used though. Some people take pictures of tests and send them around.
M: REALLY? So people can get a preview of the contents of the test?!?! That’s clever.
P: Yes. There are some high quality cell phones out there. But that’s just what I’ve heard …
—-
M: What do you think of parents who don’t give their kids a lot of unlimited text messaging?
P: Depends on the person and whether they wanted to text a lot. It’s up to the parents to make sure the kids don’t go over?
M: WHAT?
P: Now that I think of it, you could probably lower our text message plan.
M: No it’s fine, we are on an unlimited family plan.
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M: Do you ever write with (on paper) LOL SPEAK?
P: WHAT?
M: Do you ever find yourself writing in text message shorthand for a report?
P: FOR A REPORT?
M: Yes, like if you were writing a report for school.
P: Only ‘cuz. ‘Cuz it’s so much shorter than ‘because.’
M: Do you ever get in trouble for that?
P: I only do it on notes or things aren’t getting graded.
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M: Do you think that a 5th grader needs a smart phone?
P: No. They just need the basics. Smart phones should not be for anyone younger than a 7th grader. But it really depends on the person. If the person was an electronic person …
M: Why would you desire a smart phone?
P: I don’t know, because they are pretty. I mean, I am really fine with what I have.
M: Would you go on Facebook if you had one of those phones?
P: No, because I really don’t like Facebook. I think FB is like a big, terrible piece of website.
M: It’s a waste of time.
P: IT’S A WASTE OF TIME.
M: So many of your friends are on FB …
P: For stalking. FB is just for stalking.
M: Don’t you think that’s kind of weird?
P: It’s better for you to know someone in person than pretend to know them with what you see on FB.
—-
M: Do you hear a lot of cell phone interruptions during class?
P: I do sometimes, but most people don’t use them in class.
M: Do they get in trouble?
P: No, then just turn it to silent.
M: Do you think cell phones should be banned?
P: They are technically banned, but nobody listens. They still bring their phones in.
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M: Do you have extra strong thumb muscles?
P: Yes, but they’ve really are much weaker now that I don’t text message as much.
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M: Anything else you’d like to tell parents out there?
P: Don’t take away a kid’s cell phone for punishment because it’s just really annoying. It just makes kids mad at you. Make kids do hard labor or something.
M: But that’s why parents take the cell phone away from kids, because it annoys them.
P: You should make kids do hard labor instead. Why would you want to annoy your kids?
M: I think I am going to keep with my punishment strategy. Or I will incorporate both.
P: You would.
M: You know, in the continuum of parenting, I don’t think I am the strictest parent out there.
P: MOOMM. I AM SIXTEEN YEARS OLD AND STILL HAVE A BED TIME. YOU MAKE ME GO TO BED AT 9:30 ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. NO ONE ELSE HAS A BEDTIME.
M: Now that you bring this up, it’s 9:39, so it past your bedtime. We’ll leave our interview here.
Please note: This is a compensated post.
Later this month, as part of a campaign sponsored by LG and BlogHer, I will be interviewing Paige and hopefully a few of her friends about texting, sexting and of course, safety around cell use. And to top it off, because this topic is so important for our kids and their futures, BlogHer will match LG’s donation of .50 to Dosomething.org for every comment on this post. This means Dosomething.org will get a $1.00 for each and every one. Now get to it. What are you waiting for.
Posted in Daily, Parenting | 21 Comments »
Tuesday, October 5th, 2010
Just the other day my friend Matt and I were walking down the ferry dock together and had this conversation:
Matt: Wait! I see a gray hair.
Me: Yes, the have been appearing with greater frequency.
Matt: I hope your whole head of hair turns white.
Me: That is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Matt: I mean, I think it would look cool.
Me: Dude, I am only 36. I have a long way to go.
But it’s true. Gray hairs have been popping up all over my head. It wouldn’t been so obvious if I had say, BLONDE HAIR. But I am Asian and my hair is black. What can I do? They are sprouting up and multiplying all over the place. I can’t stop it, I can only get rid of them.
My friend Rene, who is a bit superstitious, snips her gray hair at the scalp. Why doesn’t she just pluck them out? Well, I am glad you asked! She heard that if you pluck one gray hair out, 10 more will sprout out in it’s place. It may be superstitious, but she’s not taking any chances.
I attribute the arrival of more gray hair to my increased anxiety over being a parent. Man, I thought those diaper years were hard. In retrospect, babies can’t drive, don’t talk back and are generally congenial when they’ve been burped and their diapers have been changed. Teenagers on the otherhand are crafty – they pretend like they don’t need you even though they really do. They test your boundaries and all your patience. It’s annoying.
I wish I had some sort of handbook for raising teenagers (any suggestions?) or a parent of my own to ask advice from, but I don’t. I can only proceed hoping that I don’t mess things up too bad. Gah! I have a headache.
Posted in Daily, Parenting | 17 Comments »
Tuesday, September 28th, 2010
Last night Paige and I had this conversation about Communism, Denmark, the former Soviet Union and the Dalai Lama. I don’t know how we got started, but I know I pretty much blew her mind up with two words – BREAD LINES. The thought of having to wait in line for bread (when her mother bakes fresh loaves at home) is unfathomable. When I told her that bread lines were still relevant to the Soviet Union in the 1990′s, she had two simple words for me – NO. WAY.
WAY.
P: “I thought that only happened in ‘olden’ times.”
We then got on the topic of Communism and China. No one should start talking about China right before bedtime. It’s too much. You can go on endless tangents like – What do you think the factory workers are thinking about when they make those millions of rubber duckies? Do you think that they think Americans have some sort of weird duck fetish? Do they wonder what we do with all those rubber ducks? Or why we keep ordering more each year?
Why? Even I can’t explain why.
I went on to tell her that the government in China used to strongly discourage the practice of any type of religion. Her reaction – “What! What about Buddhism? What about the Dalai Lama? What do they do with him?”
M: “He doesn’t live in China.”
P: “WHHHHAAATTT?”
M: “His home is Tibet, but he doesn’t live there either. He lives in exile in India.”
P: “WHHHHAAATTT?”
M: “Tibet is currently occupied by China. The Chinese government is not fond of the Dalai Lama at all.”
P: “That’s crazy. Who doesn’t like the Dalai Lama?”
M: “That’s a good question.”
Next topic.
P: “Where is Amsterdam? I can’t remember.”
M: “WHHHHHAATTT?”
P: “I heard Amsterdam was a cool place to go.”
M: “Like what kind of cool? Who told you this? Why do you want to go there?”
P: “Geez. I just asked you what country Amsterdam was in.”
Change subjects.
P: “Where’s the happiest place on earth again?”
M: “Denmark.”
P: “Why are they so happy?”
M: “Well, lots of reasons. Free health care. Free education. There is this feeling of equality amongst the Danes. They have a saying ‘Jante-lov’ which means ‘You’re no better then anybody else.”
P: “They probably think the rest of the world is crazy”
M: “I don’t think they even care. But it’s not all great, they do pay a lot of taxes.”
P: “How much?”
M: “Between 40% and 70% of your income.”
P: “WHHHHHAATTT?”
M: “Yep – but they happily do so.”
P: “Mom?”
M: “Yes, Paige?”
P: “Can you please stop talking and leave me alone? I am trying to go to sleep.”
Tags: China, Communism, Dalai Lama, paige, Parenting
Posted in Daily, Parenting | 6 Comments »