Okay, in the latest Momversation video Daphne from Cool Mom asks, “Is Your Mom-self Overtaking Your Sexual-self?”

My answer?

YES.

YES.

YES.

First of all … there’s a lot edited out of each video. There’s probably 30 minutes of footage that gets left on the production floor – never to see the light of day. Just so you know (a.k.a. damage control), Daphne mentioned that she had a single-mom friend who hasn’t had sex in 4 years offline. I retorted, “I am that single mother who hasn’t had sex in 4 years!” So I wasn’t quite having a random outburst about my sex life … there was actually some dialog about it that got edited out.

THAT SAID. It has been a long time. Maybe not 4 years, but a long, long time. And it’s true. I do feel like that sexy part of me is lost. And sometimes I feel completely pathetic about it. And not even pointy shoes can fill the void of actually feeling sexy because you are having sex. It’s awfully lonely sometimes.

Then again, these days I am a bit less cavalier about having sex. You could almost say that I am re-virginized like a born-again Christian or a Jonas Brother who is abstaining from sex because of their values. Maybe I should get one of those purity rings. Oh God. Please strike me down right now.

The truth is is that I just can’t find a partner. I am not meeting anyone that I am interested in having dinner with so I really can’t imagine finding someone that I want to get all sweaty and moany with. And honestly, having casual sex at age 35 doesn’t quite seem like who I am anymore. And I have nothing against casual sex. I was one of those people who had a lot of sex and then bragged about it to other people. If I was a SATC personality, I would have described myself to be a Samantha back in the day. Really. I swear to God. But clearly I have now morphed into a Charlotte (minus the religion) – it’s all about hope and love and happy endings.

Or maybe I’ve had all the sex one is supposed to have in their lifetime and therefore I have used up all of my credits in my twenties and early thirties. Good lord. I’ve used up my quota. That just can’t be right.

I just keep thinking that I am going to meet the guy who is going to blow my mind up and then it will be a done deal. That I won’t have to go through the bad date phase or the messiness. I’ve done that. If I have used up all my quota for sex, then I’ve also managed to use up my “bad date” quota too.

My plan now?

Meet guy. Live happily ever after. The end.

Something tells me it’s not quite going to be that easy.

Ugh. Shall we let the litany of bad date stories begin?

As if I wasn’t self-conscious enough.

Mindy was the first mom friend that I ever had. Her son Remy and Paige were inseparable and therefore she and I were inseparable. We did everything together and I was incredibly heartbroken the day that they moved to New Jersey. It was like my world just fell to pieces.

Since then, I have never had a mom friend quite like that. You know, they type of friendship that you would carry on whether or not your kids actually liked each other. My friend Cathy is a mom, but I don’t consider her a “mom friend” even though she has three kids. I actually consider her a soul sister, who just happens to have children.

Nowadays, I don’t really worry about connecting with friends who are moms. Paige is older, I don’t need to set up play dates and there’s no going to pick her from school and casually running into other parents anymore. I am now focused on expanding my circle of friends and maintaining the circle that already exists. And at some point, I would like to find a husband, partner, boyfriend, whatever.

If Facebook was around when Paige was a toddler I think that I might have just died and gone to heaven. I have to admit that it was (and is) lonely being a single parent and a young mother sometimes. Especially so in those early years when all of your friends are getting drunk and doing illicit things late at night while you are stuck at home cleaning up barf and finding random pieces of Goldfish crackers stuck to your ass. I think it would have been nice to have a better social utility than an AOL chat room (*cringe*) or the trusty Yahoo! forum.

Suffice to say, my ears still perk up like a Pavolivian dog when I hear the words, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!” But nowadays, I am reducing my dependence on computers and trying to live a real life first.

This week Alice from Finslippy asks, “How do you discipline your child?” Asha from Parent Hacks and I chime in our words of wisdom. Well, her words of wisdom and my babbling nonsense.

In a nutshell, I totally won the parenting lottery with Paige. When she was in her toddler years she only had one tantrum. I distinctly remember that it was only one because I recall thinking, “Who is this kid? Is it too late to ask for a refund?” I was terrified that it might happen again.

It never did.

Thank God.