I don’t know about you, but I find that talking about drugs and alcohol with your kid is really, really hard. Even more difficult than talking about sex. And especially when I partook in some serious drugs and alcohol. I think it’s that whole “do as I say, not I as I did” double standard that really makes me struggle. How can I tell her to “just say no” when all I was saying, “yes and yes and yes again?”
I started doing drugs when I was 14 years old (the same age that Paige is right now). I remember the first time distinctly. I was in the bathroom of an all ages dance club and this half-Japanese girl named Karla opened up a piece of tin foil, split the contents and instructed me to swallow. I didn’t even ask what it was and it didn’t even occur to me to say “no.”
Karla was 19 and already out of school. She had a karman ghia. She was the epitome of cool to me. I wasn’t about to loose face that night and let on that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. But really, I had no fucking clue what I was doing. When I look back retrospectively, I now think, “What the hell was a 19 year old hanging out with a 14 year old for?” It was so messed up. And all sorts of trouble ensued.
In this week’s Momversation episode, I ask the question: “Should you tell your kids about past drug use?” Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom and Momversation guest Kierna Mayo from Cafe Mom chime in to give me some advice:
And if you’re wondering, it was mushrooms. And it blew my mind up.
I have been single for what seems like an eternity. Despite a smattering of dates here and there, I’ve hit a drought. And not just a seasonal drought, it’s more of like a sub-Saharan multigenerational kind of drought.
I don’t know how this happened, it didn’t start as a drought. It started as a break. A break from all the stormy weather you encounter at the demise of a relationship. I was going to take some time to reconfigure what it meant to be Giyen. But then break turned into dry spell and then into a full on drought in just a blink of an eye. I am just now encountering the notion of dating again. And am now one of those people who says, “Where do you meet guys? The good kind?”
At this point, I have been in relationships most of my adult life with some massive dating before and in between. I keep telling myself that I am going to start seriously putting myself out there but I never seriously do. Perhaps I am suffering the ill effects of too many RomComs. Or maybe it’s just harder to meet someone when you’ve become a woman of a certain age. So many guys that are in their mid-30s are ready to start procreating and I am not there. I will never get there. I don’t plan on having any more kids. As a single mom this means I am looking for a “daddy type” who doesn’t want kids. Where the hell do you find that (aside from someone who could be the age of my daddy as well)? Plus, Seattle is not known as the easiest place to meet people – a.k.a. the Seattle Freeze. People go to coffee shops and open their laptops and put their headphones on – instead of going to coffee shops to talk to people. This is nuts.
All I know is that watching Jon, Bryan, Hal and Mark, husbands of Dooce, Mighty Girl,Girls Gone Child and Cool Mom totally made me miss having a partner. But not for all the reasons that you would imagine. It’s just that I have a really odd sense of humor and I laugh all of the time. Sometimes to myself. I think it would be good to always have someone standing next to me so I don’t look crazy laughing to myself. That’s where a husband fits in. I think that it will cut down number of instances where people think I am nuts. Maybe by 50%.
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