Posts Tagged ‘Foodie’

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Oh Boy, OBERTO!

Friday, June 12th, 2009

My sweet daughter Paige is currently on a 5 day backpacking/camp trip with 15 other classmates and 3 adults. Mind you, this is not a normal “car camping” trip. This is a “carry everything you need to survive on your back for 5 DAYS” camping trip. I am just dying to hear all about how it went and curious too see what condition she is in after all of this. One thing that I know for sure … she is going to stink to high heaven when she gets home.

Anyway, one of the reasons that we were so busy last weekend was because Paige and I were doing some last minute shopping for her big trip. I should have known better than to do these types of errands on the weekend, but alas, I definitely paid for my procrastination.

Here are a few things I learned when shopping on Saturday – take heed:

  1. Going to COSTCO on a Saturday is my version of hell.
  2. There is no such thing as a 30 minute trip to the mall. It takes 30 minutes to park and get inside the mall.
  3. Gilly Hicks is the worst store ever created. I almost strangled the girl that said, “Welcome to the Gilly Hicks the sassy young sister of Abercombie and Fitch!” DIE GILLY, DIE.
  4. Being with your daughter while she tries on bikinis is not for the faint of heart.
  5. Panda Express is should not have “gourmet Chinese food” as a tag line. Panda Express should not even be called Chinese food at all.
  6. Eating Red Mango frozen yogurt makes most things tolerable. Small pomegranate with honey – a mere 150 calories and completely delicious.

Because we were disoriented by going to the mall and Target and Costco all in one day, we decided to go to the Oh Boy! Oberto! Factory Outlet to get Paige some beef jerky (instead of the grocery store like normal people). After going to Gilly Hicks, driving 5 miles out of my way across town to get a bag of beef jerky seemed like the most reasonable thing in the whole world. Who doesn’t want to HAVE FUN????

Most cities have attractions like the Liberty Bell, Smithsonian, Times Square, Washington Monument … Seattle has the Space Needle and a jerky outlet.

Clearly, we are not the only ones who think that going to the factory outlet store for jerky is amusing. I should have asked for one of those hats!

And behold the WALL OF DRIED BEEF:

Oh I love my daughter. When I look at this picture I am thinking that she probably shouldn’t have gotten the spicy jerky, given that she has to go dig a hole and poop in the woods on her trip.

Let us now bow our heads in prayer for her and hope that she rations her tissue well.

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Posted in Daily, Foodie, Parenting | 7 Comments »

My Pretend Boyfriend

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

Saturday night. Paramount Theater. Three chairs. Three microphones. Two side tables. Two buckets filled with Heineken. Anthony Bourdain. Mario Batali. Luke Burbank, moderator. A crowd of adoring fans. A conversation about food.

Who would have thought that listening to two guys talk about themselves for 2 hours would be so entertaining. I mean, I talk about food and/or myself all fucking day and it bores people to tears. Sometimes I walk into a room and all of the sudden everyone needs to go to the bathroom or walk their dog or get a root canal. Who knew that there are people out there that PAY MONEY to hear other people TALK. ABOUT THEMSELVES EVEN! And the best thing is is that there’s no schtick. It’s just talking up on stage sorta like you would around the dinner table. Clearly, I took a wrong turn in my career path at some point. THIS IS WHY MY PARENTS IMMIGRATED TO AMERICA.

My favorite Batali comeback of the evening was when Bourdain chided Batali for travelling around Spain with a certain someone who doesn’t eat pork. Batali shot back:

“It just means there’s more for me.”

My favorite quote (as best I can recite) from Bourdain was:

“I’ve travelled all around the world. I’ve eaten brains, entrails and all sorts of unsavory things. The scariest thing that I’ve ever eaten was a Chicken McNugget.”

So maybe I am a groupie. Some people have Brad Pitt. Other people like McDreamy or McSteamy. For me, it’s Anthony Bourdain. At 52, he is just plain sexy. It was sadly apparent that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. During the last 30 minutes of the discussion, there was a Q&A session with the audience. For the most part it went something like this:

The best audience interaction was when this young twentysomething girl sauntered up to the microphone and said in her most sultry twentysomething way:

Girl: “Mario, I think you are wonderful, you taught my mother how to cook. I am so grateful. Anthony, you are sooooooooooooo incredibly sexy.”

Anthony (to Mario): “Ha! You get cooking! I get sexy!”

You gotta love that.

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Posted in Daily, Foodie | 13 Comments »

Holy Cannoli!

Friday, March 27th, 2009

If you have ever read the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, you might recall a passage about a pizzeria in Naples called Pizzeria da Michele. Liz’s friend Giovanni (or Dario, I can’t remember) recommends this place to her and says:

“Order the double mozzarella. If you go to Naples and don’t eat this pizza, please lie to me later and tell me that you did.”

If you are ever in Vancouver, you must take the skytrain from downtown and head east to Commercial Drive. About halfway up the 22 block shopping district is a place called Fratelli Bakery. It’s on the west side of the street.

When you are there, do not get sidetracked by the neopolitans or biscotti. ORDER A SICILIAN CANNOLI. And good gravy, do not get it mixed up with a regular cannoli – it must be the Sicilian one. (It’s the one that is stuffed with orange peel scented ricotta and chocolate chips.) You cannot even imagine how good this is. CB suggested that we share one and I almost peed myself from laughing over the thought.

If you go to Vancouver and don’t eat this cannoli, please lie to me later and tell me that you did.

holycannoli


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Posted in Daily, Foodie | 9 Comments »

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