Monday, November 17th, 2008
Thighs: What the hell?
Me: It’s good for you.
Thighs: You’re totally bullshitting me.
Me: C’mon, it’s not so bad. Really, you knew it was coming. You’ve been in a rut.
Thighs: You’re telling me I’m in a rut? I’m doing just fine. At least I’ve grown over the years.
Me: I’m quite aware of the fact that you’ve grown. It’s not quite the growth that I was hoping for.
Thighs: I hope you know what you’re doing. I’m not giving it up that easily.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Tags: humor, weight issues
Posted in Daily | 9 Comments »
Monday, October 20th, 2008
Every time I go to the Department of Motor Vehicles it reminds me of Chris Cornell the lead singer of Soundgarden. About 4 years ago Rene and I went to get her driver’s license renewed and there he was:
Rene: “I think that’s Chris Cornell.”
Me: “No it’s not. Chris Cornell wouldn’t be at the Greenwood DMV. He goes to the same DMV that Bill Gates goes to.”
Rene: “No, I think it’s really him.”
Me: “You are crazy. It’s not him.”
Rene: “You just wait until his name get’s called.”
Me: “Whatever.”
DMV Clerk: “Christopher Cornell. CHRISTOPHEEER CORNNNEEELL.” (more…)
Tags: black hole sun, celebrity, chris cornell, dmv, humor, rene, soundgarden
Posted in Daily | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
Person X: “Do you know who you remind of?”
Me: “Nooooo, who?”
Person X: “You know, that one funny lady. OMG, she’s so funny.”
Internal Monologue: (Oh God, here it goes … the Margaret Cho comparison )
Me: “Hmmm … I’m not sure who you mean … Sandra Bernhardt?”
Internal Monologue: “Make ‘em work for it.”
Person X: “Noooo not her. You know, the one that looks like you.”
Me: “What do you mean … Asian?”
Person X: “Yes, I think she’s … uh … you know … one of your people.”
Internal Monologue: “Never mind, it’s futile. Just get it over with.”
Me: “Korean? Do you mean Margaret Cho?”
Person X: “YES! THAT’S IT! MARGARET CHO! YOU LOOK LIKE MARGARET CHO! Oh God, wait until I tell Allen.” (more…)
Tags: anal bleaching, ellen forney, humor, kathy griffith, korean, margaret cho
Posted in Daily | 6 Comments »
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