Just Give Her An Effing Donut And Some Coffee Already

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

This is probably what Paige is thinking as of late.

It’s day 10 of my new found “say yes!” lifestyle and I am going through a massive sugar & carb withdrawals. This is making me grumpy and I am starting to think that “say yes!” is the dumbest thing to ever come out of my mouth. You can’t just take a girl who was raised on Pepsi and Poptarts and expect her not feel like her head is going to start spinning around while spewing out fresh vegetables and whole grains like Regan from The Exorcist.

In between the chills and hallucinations, I have started fantasizing about foods like Twinkies and Sour Patch Kids and Cheetos. I didn’t even eat those foods before I was on a diet, but I still believe that feasting on a combination of the three will make my cravings disappear.

My head is also throbbing because, like a genius, I gave up drinking coffee as well.  This just makes me want to mainline an espresso and then mix up a ridiculously sweet cocktail where the glass is all rimmed with sugary goodness.  I am somehow convinced that this will: (a) make this headache go away and (b) help with my sugar jones and (c) who doesn’t want a cocktail anyway?

Nevermind that it is 2:46 am and I actually woke up because I AM HUNGRY. For the last hour or so, I’ve been pretending that my old standby will be waiting for me when I wake up:

And in case you were wondering, that is not just a donut. That is a donut hand forged by magical little elves who are forced to work nights at this place in order to create the type of donuts that can’t sit in bags too long because the grease will sweat through the paper.

Tags: cravings, hungry, top pot, Weight Loss
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