Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
An Open Letter to God,
It’s precisely 10:24 pm on a Wednesday evening and I am pilfering through today’s top news stories which include:
- Palin and her $150k new wardrobe.
- Battle of the Robo-calls.
- Most Californians oppose Gay marriage.
I’ve got to tell you that this election cycle is killing me. Literally, it’s killing me. Every time I hear that the polls are “within a margin of error” I want to eat 5 Big Macs so I can die sooner and be put out of my misery. Really. Some of my fellow Americans are threatening to leave Earth if a certain someone get’s elected. Leave Earth … can we do that? Where do I reserve my seat? Should I pack for hot or cold weather?
God, there really aren’t enough antacids to help me through the next two weeks. I can’t take another article about Sarah Palin’s red shoes or how her flag pin is as large as a child’s fist. Can’t you do something about this? And please, with all due respect, I don’t need something like an economic crisis or a Madonna and Guy Ritchie divorce to get my mind off of the election. Forget that. I know you think you’re doing us a favor by creating a diversion but what we really need is to stop feeling like we are on the verge of throwing up every time a new poll comes out. (more…)
Tags: alter time, anderson cooper, bacon, divorce, election, gay marriage, god, guy richie, james carville, joe the plumber, joe the senator, john stewart, larry king, letter to god, madonna, sarah palin
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