I would totally be lying if I said I wasn’t over the moon about this. The Korean in me wants to say how excited I am really fast and then never mention it again because that would be almost as distasteful as actually mentioning that something awesome happened in the first place. Now that I think about it, the Korean in me says I shouldn’t even be blogging at all … I am a bad Korean.

The only thing that is equal to the excitement that I am feeling right now is the fact that I am completely terrified. I think that I have taken more photos of myself this past week than in the past 7 years in my Shrinking Giyen project. Now I am going to start videotaping myself. Seriously, this is crazy. I am so uncomfortable looking at myself that I actually had to switch the sidebar widget to my main Flickr feed because I don’t really like looking at myself and things seem all the better when my self-portraits are mixed in with other photos (as to somehow disguise the fact that I am taking pictures of myself). It’s neurotic, I know. You can still keep tabs on my daily self-portraits here.

Okay, I am gonna breathe a bit and let myself lean into the fact that I am happy for the first time in a long time. QB made some crack about me “not going Hollywood on him” then advised me to go read Margaret Cho’s “I’m The One That I Want” – which I actually finished over the weekend. I really didn’t know much about Margaret Cho until I read the book. But after reading it I can definitely say that much of it is familiar to me and my life. There are a lot of commonalities about self-esteem issues and personal hardships in there. At the very end, Cho sums up how I am feeling about life right now:

“I believe that when you take those first steps in loving yourself, the universe conspires with your soul to keep that love affair going.”

A few years ago I the cynic in me might have thought that this was metaphysical crap. Now, I’m drinking the koolaid.

PS. Thanks Mir & Aimee for such great advice!

Person X: “Do you know who you remind of?”

Me: “Nooooo, who?”

Person X: “You know, that one funny lady.  OMG, she’s so funny.”

Internal Monologue:  (Oh God, here it goes … the Margaret Cho comparison )

Me: “Hmmm … I’m not sure who you mean … Sandra Bernhardt?”

Internal Monologue: “Make ‘em work for it.”

Person X: “Noooo not her.  You know, the one that looks like you.”

Me: “What do you mean … Asian?”

Person X: “Yes, I think she’s … uh … you know … one of your people.”

Internal Monologue: “Never mind, it’s futile.  Just get it over with.”

Me: “Korean?  Do you mean Margaret Cho?”

Person X: “YES!  THAT’S IT!  MARGARET CHO!  YOU LOOK LIKE MARGARET CHO!  Oh God, wait until I tell Allen.”

I have this conversation all of the time.  No really, ALL OF THE TIME.  And don’t get me wrong, I love me some Margaret Cho.  She is a rockstar. Her assistant is a Mexican-American little person.  She can talk about sex in front of her Korean mother and the gays love her better than Kathy Griffith.  I saw an episode of her reality tv show where she gets her anus bleached.  She had a show called the Notorious C.H.O.

So minus the little person, reality show and her healthy bank account – maybe we are the same.  She’s Korean, I’m Korean.  She yo-yo’s with her weight, I do too.  She’s funny.  I’m sorta funny.   She tours around the country doing stand-up.  Is sit at home and blog.  She’s got tattoos and I have a mole on my right shoulder.

See – we could be sisters.

IMAGE CREDIT:  ELLEN FORNEY

Check out the amazing work of Ellen Forney right here.  She’s a local artist who used to pen one of my all time favorite comic strips called “I Was Seven in 75.” Here is a sample:  “How to comb your wings.”