The other day I was going pee and I didn’t shut the door. Paige saw me and let out a huge gasp.
“MMOOOOMMMM!!!!”
You would have thought that I had committed some sort of crime in front of her. And perhaps I did [in her mind]. For a few seconds before covering her eyes, she saw the side profile of my lower half sans clothing, while on the toilet. Apparently, that’s enough to scar a teenager.
I got to thinking about that moment and why she was so freaked out about it and it donned on me … I WAS NEVER NAKED AROUND HER. EVER. I chalk it up to (a) being raised in a conservative Asian family (primarily by a single father) and (b) weird body/self-esteem issues but I never want to be seen in shorts, let alone nekkid. It’s just the way things were. (more…)
When people ask me to explain Momversation, I often say it’s a mashup of video conversations between really funny, smart, lovely and successful bloggers … and me.
Seriously, how I got invited to this party, I will never know. I feel really lucky. Like I won some sort of mommy blogger lottery. In fact, getting to participate in all of this makes as much sense to me as a 92 year old man winning a $290 million Mega Millions jackpot.
But let’s bypass all the huhs? and whys? for a sec. Let’s focus on the fact that I AM STILL AT THE PARTY. In fact, lets focus on the fact that WE ARE ALL STILL AT THE PARTY.
Some of you may think that Momversation is just silly online video fodder. And in some ways, we are meant to be silly and lighthearted … because being a mother is really hard. If we aren’t laughing, we are often crying. In our big pillows. Or in the shower so no one can hear us. Or alone in front of our babies, because they’re crying too. The triumphs (and burdens) of being a mother are worth talking about. They are worth sharing with one another. If that is not relevant, than I don’t know what is.
And if you aren’t a big Momversation fan, that’s okay too. For any online show to hit 100 episodes is pretty relevant in the era of new media. You don’t have to be a fan to appreciate that for almost a year now Momversation has created an online community and opened a dialog amongst a constituency of viewers. Given that we don’t have anything to do with (a) video games, (b) celebrity gossip, (c) teen potty humor or (d) porn – is pretty remarkable.
I guess what I mean to say (rather clumsily) is that online video content is viable. People will watch. And more importantly, advertisers will sponsor. If what the Momversation team creates is not your cup of tea, you better believe that someone out there has an idea for a show that is going to blow your mind. And their success will be predicated on the success of shows like this one.
But seriously, I am not trying to overstate the cultural signifigance of Momversation. What I do know, is that this year I got rid of cable because it costs too much money. Nowadays all my video entertainment comes through a DSL line. I can watch an unlimited buffet of online content for $45 a month – the price of internet access. All of this with little or no commercial interruptions. I think this is awesome.
And at the risk of sounding like a kiss ass – I quite frankly, am glad that there are production companies out there who will allow their team of panelists, talent, stars, cast – whatever you want to call it – drive content and say whats on their mind. And I have a hunch, that eventually you will be too.
Oh be-jesus. Why do I overshare? Did I really say that?
Okay, in the latest Momversation video Daphne from Cool Mom asks, “Is Your Mom-self Overtaking Your Sexual-self?”
My answer?
YES.
YES.
YES.
First of all … there’s a lot edited out of each video. There’s probably 30 minutes of footage that gets left on the production floor – never to see the light of day. Just so you know (a.k.a. damage control), Daphne mentioned that she had a single-mom friend who hasn’t had sex in 4 years offline. I retorted, “I am that single mother who hasn’t had sex in 4 years!” So I wasn’t quite having a random outburst about my sex life … there was actually some dialog about it that got edited out.
THAT SAID. It has been a long time. Maybe not 4 years, but a long, long time. And it’s true. I do feel like that sexy part of me is lost. And sometimes I feel completely pathetic about it. And not even pointy shoes can fill the void of actually feeling sexy because you are having sex. It’s awfully lonely sometimes.
Then again, these days I am a bit less cavalier about having sex. You could almost say that I am re-virginized like a born-again Christian or a Jonas Brother who is abstaining from sex because of their values. Maybe I should get one of those purity rings. Oh God. Please strike me down right now.
The truth is is that I just can’t find a partner. I am not meeting anyone that I am interested in having dinner with so I really can’t imagine finding someone that I want to get all sweaty and moany with. And honestly, having casual sex at age 35 doesn’t quite seem like who I am anymore. And I have nothing against casual sex. I was one of those people who had a lot of sex and then bragged about it to other people. If I was a SATC personality, I would have described myself to be a Samantha back in the day. Really. I swear to God. But clearly I have now morphed into a Charlotte (minus the religion) – it’s all about hope and love and happy endings.
Or maybe I’ve had all the sex one is supposed to have in their lifetime and therefore I have used up all of my credits in my twenties and early thirties. Good lord. I’ve used up my quota. That just can’t be right.
I just keep thinking that I am going to meet the guy who is going to blow my mind up and then it will be a done deal. That I won’t have to go through the bad date phase or the messiness. I’ve done that. If I have used up all my quota for sex, then I’ve also managed to use up my “bad date” quota too.
My plan now?
Meet guy. Live happily ever after. The end.
Something tells me it’s not quite going to be that easy.
Ugh. Shall we let the litany of bad date stories begin?
